In Memory of Daniel

Earlier this week, we heard news that one of our classmates was injured during football practice and was rushed to the emergency room. Something was terribly wrong with his brain. That night we had a prayer together and the Hermana asked me to offer it. I made my first major mistake and blessed Daniela instead of Daniel, thinking they had said it was a girl. That's okay though, because the blessing on his family was still "su familia," so I did something right.

Then yesterday after choir, I was craving a piano for playing and walked all the way to the Seminary buildings to see if I could find one. I heard someone playing the piano so I knew I had access. There I ran into Hector (yes, the boy who gave me the Rubik's cube), who actually plays amazing-ly. We talked for a while and then finally he got really serious and asked me for help. Daniel lived in his house last year and Hector felt like his faith was waivering from this experience. God gave me the ability to testify and to comfort him, a talent that I have NEVER possessed. We talked for a long time about what we needed to do and then even talked about Erin. It was a difficult talk, but I know that God strengthen me and him, and gave me the words that he needed to hear. I don't know why God so often priveleges me by using me as an instrument in His hands.

Later that night, the Hermana called us all for oración. Very solemnly. She told us that that night, Daniel had passed away. Tears began to roll down the cheeks of my friends who surrounded me and even I found myself crying. (One thing I have learned about myself here is that i can't NOT cry when I see someone else crying). As soon as we finished the prayer, I ran into my room, locked myself in the bathroom and fell to my knees in tears.

I didn't know Daniel, but I KNOW the pain of his family. I had been fasting that day for them.

I got up from my knees and knew I had to do something. I got out my scriptures and a notebook and began writing. I wrote three and a half pages to his family. I have never written anything that long in Spanish. I only used my Spanish-English dictionary once. I won't be able to attend his funeral today because I have a choir presentation at 12, but I am again fasting for his family. I don't know if they are members or not, but I KNOW that they need strength. I also know, that in times of trial, the prayers of others can be literally felt, and angels will lift us up and comfort us.

Thank You to everyone who gave me strength a little over a year ago, who continues to give me strength. And Thank You to my God, my Heavenly Father, and to my Redeemer, who knows this pain, this sorrow, this heartache. We can have perfect faith, but we can also have godly sorrow.

I love you.

The Never-ending Smile

Today we had to take pictures for the yearbook and for graduation. One of the pictures was for the government or something (I’ll admit I didn’t completely understand) for our graduation. The secretary of state has to approve us or something and they need our picture. ObV.

This picture was more or less a mug shot. We had to have all our hair completely pulled back, tight, with gel and such (i didn't dare use it) and we could not smile. Not even a little.

Anyone who knows me, knows it is very difficult for me not to pull faces in a photo. Whether it is smiling or pulling an obnoxious face, I just can't be serious. No. Not at all.

The photographer for our school has a secret crush on me, which I'll admit is a little bit creepy seeing as he is a ridiculously overweight, married, old man (I'm not exagerrating on his size by the way, Gramma can testify), and so he always has the tendency to take more pictures of me than necessary for any human being. But today he was very serious and was only going to take one.

I counted. We took 12. Either someone was making me laugh, or my mouth was turned up a little too much or I was TOO serious. Then all the kids tried to solve my problem and they realized what it was. My eyebrows. Of course. They were either raised too high, or turned too low, or looking confused. I swear the final picture is going to look like I'm drugged. But really, my eyebrows?

Failure at Blogging

okay.  Preface to this blog entry:  It was going to be an Illustrated update of my adventures from the past few weeks that I have utterly failed to blog for, but my computer is being silly and not letting me put pictures and copying and pasting under the page and it's wierd.  so I'm sorry, and enjoy.

1)  The Guilt of Facebook

Last time I came to my grandparent's my mother asked me to get a facebook so that I could look at Marly's photos or post mine or something.  I refuted for a bit, and then well, long story short, I gave in.   Rachel Davis is now a victim of facebook.  If you wish to see the pictures that refuse to be posted on this blog, then feel free to find them there.  Of course, I only get access to it like once a month so I will not become an addict.  At least not until I get home.  Oh no.

2)  March 7th, 2009

We all knew it would come.  Not a date that could be avoided, but I didn't plan on being in a foreign country.  Or away from my family.  God kept me very very busy that morning: extra chores, lots of homework, phonecalls from friends and family, and then a choir trip in the afternoon.  That's where I found the trouble.  Too much time to myself.  Though, I'll admit I loved looking out at the city.  Driving through REAL Mexico, not the sheltered and safe Benemérito.  I snapped a few pictures (again, which can't be added), but I really just enjoyed looking.  The people are fascinating.  Mr. Harris would have gotten some amazing photos :).  Anyway, after we arrived at the location for our performance, we had some downtime.  Alot of downtime.  I'll admit, I did at least 20 laps around the church that we were singing at.  And every so often I would run into someone, paste on my genuine smile and say that I was fine.  I only managed to tell one person what was really going on that day.  That was a difficult one.  As soon as anyone knows they try and assure you that it's okay, that you will see her again, but I really do know all of that.  Please don't doubt my faith.  I know that we will be reunited someday.  It's just hard sometimes.  And that's something I couldn't know until I experienced it.  I know this is God's will.  And I have seen the blessings, but it's just part of life.  "Life is difficult...Once we truly know that life is difficult-once we truly understand and accept it-then life is no longer difficult.  Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters."  I'm still in that acceptance stage.  But I do know that we can choose to be happy, even admist the "unfairness" of life.  Because we know that God is in control, and God is ALWAYS fair.  

Erin, I love you and miss you.  And I am so grateful that I got to remember you on that day. and everyday.  I hope you got my balloon <3.

3)Music=Therapy.

I've only written two more songs while I've been here, but I play the piano, guitar and sing...Nonstop.  I think it annoys my roommates :).

For our "Tertulia de la Exelencia" I played the same song on my guitar that I played for our Evening of Excellence.  I was a little out of breath when I sang because I had just been running back and forth all around campus in the cold trying to help my bishop, but all the girls still loved it.  I translated the last verse and the last chorus into Spanish and they all started squeeling when I began singing.  I'll admit that singing that song, with my odd-style voice in Spanish was a little bit...different, but I felt like I was able to do something for them.  That was a good night :).

4) A real live baby duck

Caro's boyfriend gave her a duck for their sixth month.  Honestly, This is probably the most romantic thing I have ever seen.  I was so super happy.  

5) The mission experience:

I know had already mentioned that I was going to be a missionary for Benemérito and how excited I was about that, but things have changed a little bit.  I was unable to participate in the Missionario Benemérito, but I will now be going to the Cuerna Vaca the first and second weeks in April during my spring break to serve a mini mission.  There is a threesome of Sisters there and I will become the fourth.  Living everyday like a true missionary.  Working Hard, Preaching the Gospel, and Loving It.  This weekend I came to Gramma's and we had a Sister Missionary Attire Fashion Show.  More or Less this involved raiding Gramma's closet and seeing which clothes actually fit and were modest enough.  I wish words could express how excited I am and how grateful I am for this opportunity.  I get to hit the mission field before my brother.  Wierd.  Haha, love you all!

MIDE and Carranza

(intended to be posted March 3rd, 2009, but I lost my flash drive...:[)



Today I had my first field trip with Bene. We went to the Museo Interactive de Economía. Although the museum itself was a little boring the experience was amazing.



First thing in the morning we all piled into the buses at the front of the school and I was so scared I was going to get terribly carsick and puke on the person sitting next me. They tried to get me to sit all the way in the back and I knew that was not a good idea so I found a more comfortable seat all to myself. Then, right before we were about to leave the tallest girl in the bus decided to be nice and come sit next to me. There was hardly any leg room. So much for sleeping on the way there.

That was a good thing I guess though because I was forced to open my eyes and experience Mexico city.

As we were driving over a bridge I had a view down at the buildings next to me. There was a man standing by himself with his shoes off and looking so desperate. As I looked longer, I noticed him starting to cry and as I noticed this, I noticed myself starting to cry also. I quickly glanced around the bus seeing if there was anyway we could stop, anyway I could just make eye contact with him. I said a prayer in my heart pleading that Heavenly Father would go to him, comfort him.

I am just so very blessed. As the drive continued I noticed other things. Moms walking through the dirt on the side of the road with their children, what looked like junkyards on top of peoples houses, a man sitting against a wall in the centro, barely having the strength to reach out his hand and beg for change. I thought about the kids in the bus with me. This is their reality. This is their world. And it’s wonderful. Coming to Poway would feel like Disneyland, or the mansions in Heaven.

Doctrine and Covenants 14:7 “And if ye keep my commandments and endure to the end, ye shall have eternal life, which gift is the greatest of all the gifts of God.” Endure to the end. I’m cruising along in the back seat of a light blue classic mustang convertible, with the wind blowing in my face a little more than I would like it to. I’m ready to give up my seat to the shoeless man, or the hitchhiking mother with her daughter on her shoulders, or my classmate who wears the same thing to school everyday.

I could learn from a little bit of walking on the side of the road.