Learning about Reality

2 days left.

A few things I've learned:
...Music breaks down so many barriers.
...Names are vital.
...Boys are so beautifully simple. They just want to know that someone will love them and cuddle with them, even though they are a simple, stupid, sometimes smelly boy.
...When it comes down to it, family is what counts. And they will be the ones to sustain you through hard, lonely times. They will be the ones to read your blog and send emails that make you cry and they will be the ones most anxious for you to come home. How grateful I am to have a family. And an amazing one at that.
...Sudha (the wisest woman I know) told me the other day, "It's good to travel at least once a year, because then you appreciate your bed more when you come home." I think "your bed" symbolizes a lot more than just a comfortable place to sleep. It's a comfortable lifestyle, social life, diet. Things that you know, that you love and that are familiar to you.
...If you will give real, serious time to God, he will fill that time with incredible teaching. He will give you specific answers and he will teach you truth. If you are open to it and if you put in the effort, your "soul will be enlarged." His promises and His blessings are real. This is not fiction and this is not myth and this is not some imagined fantasy. If we turn to Him in sincerity, He will fill us.

Powerless

It's already been accepted as fact that the power is out more often than not in this country. However, the last few days I've had the privilege and blessing of staying in the city of Chennai with Prasad and his wife. I've relished in the beauties of air conditioning, wireless internet, actually being able to sleep with a blanket, etc.

Despite all of these glorious technologies (and blankets), last night as I was about to plug in my laptop the lights in the room suddenly powered off. I didn't have a flashlight on hand (it's okay, I'm not a boy scout, I won't be punished), so I switched on my laptop. Seeing that I only had 50 minutes of battery life left, I anxiously awaited the return of power. In a few minutes my wish was granted, but with some unexpected complications. When the power came back on, I head a loud crack and when I looked back at my charger (which was still plugged in), I saw orange sparks.

Hmmm.

I didn't think anything of it and grabbed the cord to start pumping life back into my almost dead computer. The little orange light on my charger didn't come on though. So I flipped the power switch and went back to work.

No orange light.

In sadness, fear and desperation, I pulled out my camera charger to see if it still worked, to see if it was just a problem with the power or the adapter. I tried other outlets, plugging and unplugging, flipping and unflipping!

It was hopeless. My charger had been zapped. Shot. Blasted.

I closed my sad little laptop (choosing to save it's last bit of power for a dark moment) and suddenly dreaded the 15 hour flight home more than I previously had.


So now I type on a Samsung SyncMaster 955.
A stranger compared to my kind, white MacBook.

The posts I had started writing remain unposted, the pictures unseen, the music unheard.

Yet there is still hope. All in good time my young friends. Within a week and a 15 hour plane ride that leaves at midnight and arrives at 5 in the morning (do the math I dare you...the answer eqauls jet lag), not to mention two other 3 hour legs, and no laptop to watch or type or listen on, I will be home.
And then, all the power in the world, plus everything you own and everything you love, will be mine.

I have finally found a culture that appreciates (and even adores) my chubby-ness. I could stick around here for a while :)

[The only problem is that they're set on making me even chubbier. I said to Mary (the woman who is in charge of what I eat), "You're going to make me fat!" She conceded and said, "...Okay" and then "I will buy you new clothes."]

19

As I was writing in my journal this morning I realized that I only have 19 days left here. Something about being in the teens shocked and surprised me. I can't believe that I have such little time left already. It seems like it's been only a few days.

Sometimes I don't know exactly what I'm doing here. There's not any real schedule or calendar for a person like me, I just kind of make my own. Sure, I'm teaching English and Piano and Guitar, but they don't really need that. They really have a solid organization over here. They have teachers, housemothers, wardens, etc. all of whom fill the role of leader and disciplinarian. What the children need is love. What the children need is family.

I cannot fill this void and while the Indian government remains the way that it is, this void may never be filled. I am not trying to be critical or disrespectful of the government, I am only speaking from observation, the little that I see and understand. But I see children with lonely eyes and broken hearts. I see children who have come from destitution, poverty and yes, even from the gutters.

Sometimes I don't know exactly what I'm doing here. But I know that God can show me what to do. And I know that God is mindful of every one of his children. Even those who are sleeping in the gutters.

Paparazzi

These kids were nearly impossible to take pictures of. I pulled out a camera and they all swarmed. I guess it's something about never having had their picture taken, or having had it taken very rarely. I took over 250 pictures just yesterday afternoon. They are truly beautiful people.

Eat Play Love

Mary taught me two important lessons yesterday.
First of all, she taught me how to eat with my hands, which is a hugely important skill here.
Secondly, We were talking about what I've been doing here and I mentioned teaching or something and she said "Nah, you play with the children."
I was a little confused and said "All the time?"
She responded "When Prasad asks what you are doing, you say teach guitar, english, piano. But you play with the children. You have one month. You play with the children."

Virtue

Sundays have always been beautiful to me. They are peaceful and uplifting and full of people that I love.

I was uncertain as to how I would spend Sundays here. I was hoping to attend church somewhere, but I didn't know where or how or if it would be held. I was grateful to find out that church is held here, at Pathway, with a congregation full of children. I was also happy to find out that I would be put to work. It's always good to be busy and feel needed. I played the piano in the meeting and also spoke for about 15 minutes. I was grateful that God gave me these opportunities, but was then prepared to sit back and enjoy the rest of the services silently observing. Prasad surprised me, however, by asking me to teach Young Women's. So with about two minutes and a lot of help from the spirit, I began to teach on Virtue. We discussed what exactly Virtue is and why it is important to have "high moral standards" in our lives. I spoke a little bit about how this applies in my culture and then turned the time over to the girls.

I was touched as they shared their beliefs and feelings. Here in India, it is culturally accepted that a man should not "touch" a woman before marriage. Modest dress is expected in all occasions and in all places. Dating starts at age 18 and many Christian religions don't allow even ear piercings.

Though different from some of the standards I've traditionally seen and lived by, I was greatly inspired by the faith and the commitment to Virtue of these Indian people. I began to cry as I realized that these girls are already worlds ahead of where I am in their understanding of Virtue and Purity.


Something else I've learned (though seemingly contradictory):
Everyone needs to be touched. It's something about being human, I guess. It shows us that we are literally and physically loved. A hand held, an arm around, a brush of the cheek, little little things mean so very much.