Coming Full Circle

I love happy things. Sometimes facebook helps me to find those things. Today it was my darling, darling friend Robbie from Benemerito. I introduced you to him back in February of 09.
He was the first friend who enabled me to speak Spanish. He was patient and kind and interested in me, even though my language was quite broken. He was the first person I was able to tell about Erin at a time when she was all I could think about. He was Marly's age and became like a younger brother to me and a dear, dear friend.

When he was bearing his testimony on my last Sunday in Mexico City, he said something I will never, ever forget. He looked me right in the eyes and told of how he had never had interest in serving a mission, that it had never been important to him. As we both began to cry, he told me that because of my example and friendship, he was now committed to serve a mission.

Today, when I hopped on facebook, I brushed it off as a distraction until I caught sight of him with a black nametag, la gafet. I started to cry with pure excitement and joy as I realized that he really made it. My beautiful friend from Mexico, Roberto Galvan de Anda, my Robbie, is on a mission. He did it and he looks so happy and clean. I couldn’t be more thrilled, more filled with the spirit or more joyful. My little brother and my dear, dear friend made it. He really made it. I shed tears of joy for that beautiful boy. I am so happy.

To Close

Last night I cried myself to sleep.

I saw pictures of my little
Brown
Beautiful
Brothers and sisters
Thambis and Thangachis
Sitting beside another American

And she did not hold them
She did not touch their hands
Or kiss their cheeks
Or wear their Bindis

She did not paint their nails
Or pain her back from sitting
Hunched
Doing head of hair after head of hair

And her walls are not covered in
Letters of love and kindness and
Sisterhood
Hand-crafted and colored by those little
Brown
Beautiful
Hands

Again
I want to hold those hands in mine
Ten at a time
To play “Lemonade” and to
Sing “Pio Pio”
And “Love Story”
Until my throat is dry

I want to smile fully
Like I did then and there

for 28 days
With those little
Brown
Beautiful
Children of God

They may have forgotten me
For this Blonde, Beautiful American

But I will never forget them.

Learning about Reality

2 days left.

A few things I've learned:
...Music breaks down so many barriers.
...Names are vital.
...Boys are so beautifully simple. They just want to know that someone will love them and cuddle with them, even though they are a simple, stupid, sometimes smelly boy.
...When it comes down to it, family is what counts. And they will be the ones to sustain you through hard, lonely times. They will be the ones to read your blog and send emails that make you cry and they will be the ones most anxious for you to come home. How grateful I am to have a family. And an amazing one at that.
...Sudha (the wisest woman I know) told me the other day, "It's good to travel at least once a year, because then you appreciate your bed more when you come home." I think "your bed" symbolizes a lot more than just a comfortable place to sleep. It's a comfortable lifestyle, social life, diet. Things that you know, that you love and that are familiar to you.
...If you will give real, serious time to God, he will fill that time with incredible teaching. He will give you specific answers and he will teach you truth. If you are open to it and if you put in the effort, your "soul will be enlarged." His promises and His blessings are real. This is not fiction and this is not myth and this is not some imagined fantasy. If we turn to Him in sincerity, He will fill us.

Powerless

It's already been accepted as fact that the power is out more often than not in this country. However, the last few days I've had the privilege and blessing of staying in the city of Chennai with Prasad and his wife. I've relished in the beauties of air conditioning, wireless internet, actually being able to sleep with a blanket, etc.

Despite all of these glorious technologies (and blankets), last night as I was about to plug in my laptop the lights in the room suddenly powered off. I didn't have a flashlight on hand (it's okay, I'm not a boy scout, I won't be punished), so I switched on my laptop. Seeing that I only had 50 minutes of battery life left, I anxiously awaited the return of power. In a few minutes my wish was granted, but with some unexpected complications. When the power came back on, I head a loud crack and when I looked back at my charger (which was still plugged in), I saw orange sparks.

Hmmm.

I didn't think anything of it and grabbed the cord to start pumping life back into my almost dead computer. The little orange light on my charger didn't come on though. So I flipped the power switch and went back to work.

No orange light.

In sadness, fear and desperation, I pulled out my camera charger to see if it still worked, to see if it was just a problem with the power or the adapter. I tried other outlets, plugging and unplugging, flipping and unflipping!

It was hopeless. My charger had been zapped. Shot. Blasted.

I closed my sad little laptop (choosing to save it's last bit of power for a dark moment) and suddenly dreaded the 15 hour flight home more than I previously had.


So now I type on a Samsung SyncMaster 955.
A stranger compared to my kind, white MacBook.

The posts I had started writing remain unposted, the pictures unseen, the music unheard.

Yet there is still hope. All in good time my young friends. Within a week and a 15 hour plane ride that leaves at midnight and arrives at 5 in the morning (do the math I dare you...the answer eqauls jet lag), not to mention two other 3 hour legs, and no laptop to watch or type or listen on, I will be home.
And then, all the power in the world, plus everything you own and everything you love, will be mine.

I have finally found a culture that appreciates (and even adores) my chubby-ness. I could stick around here for a while :)

[The only problem is that they're set on making me even chubbier. I said to Mary (the woman who is in charge of what I eat), "You're going to make me fat!" She conceded and said, "...Okay" and then "I will buy you new clothes."]

19

As I was writing in my journal this morning I realized that I only have 19 days left here. Something about being in the teens shocked and surprised me. I can't believe that I have such little time left already. It seems like it's been only a few days.

Sometimes I don't know exactly what I'm doing here. There's not any real schedule or calendar for a person like me, I just kind of make my own. Sure, I'm teaching English and Piano and Guitar, but they don't really need that. They really have a solid organization over here. They have teachers, housemothers, wardens, etc. all of whom fill the role of leader and disciplinarian. What the children need is love. What the children need is family.

I cannot fill this void and while the Indian government remains the way that it is, this void may never be filled. I am not trying to be critical or disrespectful of the government, I am only speaking from observation, the little that I see and understand. But I see children with lonely eyes and broken hearts. I see children who have come from destitution, poverty and yes, even from the gutters.

Sometimes I don't know exactly what I'm doing here. But I know that God can show me what to do. And I know that God is mindful of every one of his children. Even those who are sleeping in the gutters.

Paparazzi

These kids were nearly impossible to take pictures of. I pulled out a camera and they all swarmed. I guess it's something about never having had their picture taken, or having had it taken very rarely. I took over 250 pictures just yesterday afternoon. They are truly beautiful people.