Mexico and Me, India and I

Coming Full Circle

2011-11-28T20:24:00.000-08:00

I love happy things. Sometimes facebook helps me to find those things. Today it was my darling, darling friend Robbie from Benemerito. I introduced you to him back in February of 09.
He was the first friend who enabled me to speak Spanish. He was patient and kind and interested in me, even though my language was quite broken. He was the first person I was able to tell about Erin at a time when she was all I could think about. He was Marly's age and became like a younger brother to me and a dear, dear friend.

When he was bearing his testimony on my last Sunday in Mexico City, he said something I will never, ever forget. He looked me right in the eyes and told of how he had never had interest in serving a mission, that it had never been important to him. As we both began to cry, he told me that because of my example and friendship, he was now committed to serve a mission.

Today, when I hopped on facebook, I brushed it off as a distraction until I caught sight of him with a black nametag, la gafet. I started to cry with pure excitement and joy as I realized that he really made it. My beautiful friend from Mexico, Roberto Galvan de Anda, my Robbie, is on a mission. He did it and he looks so happy and clean. I couldn’t be more thrilled, more filled with the spirit or more joyful. My little brother and my dear, dear friend made it. He really made it. I shed tears of joy for that beautiful boy. I am so happy.

To Close

2011-10-25T14:35:00.000-07:00

Last night I cried myself to sleep.

I saw pictures of my little
Brown
Beautiful
Brothers and sisters
Thambis and Thangachis
Sitting beside another American

And she did not hold them
She did not touch their hands
Or kiss their cheeks
Or wear their Bindis

She did not paint their nails
Or pain her back from sitting
Hunched
Doing head of hair after head of hair

And her walls are not covered in
Letters of love and kindness and
Sisterhood
Hand-crafted and colored by those little
Brown
Beautiful
Hands

Again
I want to hold those hands in mine
Ten at a time
To play “Lemonade” and to
Sing “Pio Pio”
And “Love Story”
Until my throat is dry

I want to smile fully
Like I did then and there

for 28 days
With those little
Brown
Beautiful
Children of God

They may have forgotten me
For this Blonde, Beautiful American

But I will never forget them.

Learning about Reality

2011-08-22T01:20:00.000-07:00

2 days left.

A few things I've learned:
...Music breaks down so many barriers.
...Names are vital.
...Boys are so beautifully simple. They just want to know that someone will love them and cuddle with them, even though they are a simple, stupid, sometimes smelly boy.
...When it comes down to it, family is what counts. And they will be the ones to sustain you through hard, lonely times. They will be the ones to read your blog and send emails that make you cry and they will be the ones most anxious for you to come home. How grateful I am to have a family. And an amazing one at that.
...Sudha (the wisest woman I know) told me the other day, "It's good to travel at least once a year, because then you appreciate your bed more when you come home." I think "your bed" symbolizes a lot more than just a comfortable place to sleep. It's a comfortable lifestyle, social life, diet. Things that you know, that you love and that are familiar to you.
...If you will give real, serious time to God, he will fill that time with incredible teaching. He will give you specific answers and he will teach you truth. If you are open to it and if you put in the effort, your "soul will be enlarged." His promises and His blessings are real. This is not fiction and this is not myth and this is not some imagined fantasy. If we turn to Him in sincerity, He will fill us.

Powerless

2011-08-17T07:44:00.000-07:00

It's already been accepted as fact that the power is out more often than not in this country. However, the last few days I've had the privilege and blessing of staying in the city of Chennai with Prasad and his wife. I've relished in the beauties of air conditioning, wireless internet, actually being able to sleep with a blanket, etc.

Despite all of these glorious technologies (and blankets), last night as I was about to plug in my laptop the lights in the room suddenly powered off. I didn't have a flashlight on hand (it's okay, I'm not a boy scout, I won't be punished), so I switched on my laptop. Seeing that I only had 50 minutes of battery life left, I anxiously awaited the return of power. In a few minutes my wish was granted, but with some unexpected complications. When the power came back on, I head a loud crack and when I looked back at my charger (which was still plugged in), I saw orange sparks.

Hmmm.

I didn't think anything of it and grabbed the cord to start pumping life back into my almost dead computer. The little orange light on my charger didn't come on though. So I flipped the power switch and went back to work.

No orange light.

In sadness, fear and desperation, I pulled out my camera charger to see if it still worked, to see if it was just a problem with the power or the adapter. I tried other outlets, plugging and unplugging, flipping and unflipping!

It was hopeless. My charger had been zapped. Shot. Blasted.

I closed my sad little laptop (choosing to save it's last bit of power for a dark moment) and suddenly dreaded the 15 hour flight home more than I previously had.

So now I type on a Samsung SyncMaster 955.
A stranger compared to my kind, white MacBook.

The posts I had started writing remain unposted, the pictures unseen, the music unheard.

Yet there is still hope. All in good time my young friends. Within a week and a 15 hour plane ride that leaves at midnight and arrives at 5 in the morning (do the math I dare you...the answer eqauls jet lag), not to mention two other 3 hour legs, and no laptop to watch or type or listen on, I will be home.
And then, all the power in the world, plus everything you own and everything you love, will be mine.

2011-08-09T01:39:00.000-07:00

I have finally found a culture that appreciates (and even adores) my chubby-ness. I could stick around here for a while :)

[The only problem is that they're set on making me even chubbier. I said to Mary (the woman who is in charge of what I eat), "You're going to make me fat!" She conceded and said, "...Okay" and then "I will buy you new clothes."]

19

2011-08-04T22:04:00.001-07:00

As I was writing in my journal this morning I realized that I only have 19 days left here. Something about being in the teens shocked and surprised me. I can't believe that I have such little time left already. It seems like it's been only a few days.

Sometimes I don't know exactly what I'm doing here. There's not any real schedule or calendar for a person like me, I just kind of make my own. Sure, I'm teaching English and Piano and Guitar, but they don't really need that. They really have a solid organization over here. They have teachers, housemothers, wardens, etc. all of whom fill the role of leader and disciplinarian. What the children need is love. What the children need is family.

I cannot fill this void and while the Indian government remains the way that it is, this void may never be filled. I am not trying to be critical or disrespectful of the government, I am only speaking from observation, the little that I see and understand. But I see children with lonely eyes and broken hearts. I see children who have come from destitution, poverty and yes, even from the gutters.

Sometimes I don't know exactly what I'm doing here. But I know that God can show me what to do. And I know that God is mindful of every one of his children. Even those who are sleeping in the gutters.

Paparazzi

2011-08-02T21:45:00.000-07:00

These kids were nearly impossible to take pictures of. I pulled out a camera and they all swarmed. I guess it's something about never having had their picture taken, or having had it taken very rarely. I took over 250 pictures just yesterday afternoon. They are truly beautiful people.

Eat Play Love

2011-08-02T02:07:00.001-07:00

Mary taught me two important lessons yesterday.
First of all, she taught me how to eat with my hands, which is a hugely important skill here.
Secondly, We were talking about what I've been doing here and I mentioned teaching or something and she said "Nah, you play with the children."
I was a little confused and said "All the time?"
She responded "When Prasad asks what you are doing, you say teach guitar, english, piano. But you play with the children. You have one month. You play with the children."

Virtue

2011-08-01T01:06:00.000-07:00

Sundays have always been beautiful to me. They are peaceful and uplifting and full of people that I love.

I was uncertain as to how I would spend Sundays here. I was hoping to attend church somewhere, but I didn't know where or how or if it would be held. I was grateful to find out that church is held here, at Pathway, with a congregation full of children. I was also happy to find out that I would be put to work. It's always good to be busy and feel needed. I played the piano in the meeting and also spoke for about 15 minutes. I was grateful that God gave me these opportunities, but was then prepared to sit back and enjoy the rest of the services silently observing. Prasad surprised me, however, by asking me to teach Young Women's. So with about two minutes and a lot of help from the spirit, I began to teach on Virtue. We discussed what exactly Virtue is and why it is important to have "high moral standards" in our lives. I spoke a little bit about how this applies in my culture and then turned the time over to the girls.

I was touched as they shared their beliefs and feelings. Here in India, it is culturally accepted that a man should not "touch" a woman before marriage. Modest dress is expected in all occasions and in all places. Dating starts at age 18 and many Christian religions don't allow even ear piercings.

Though different from some of the standards I've traditionally seen and lived by, I was greatly inspired by the faith and the commitment to Virtue of these Indian people. I began to cry as I realized that these girls are already worlds ahead of where I am in their understanding of Virtue and Purity.

Something else I've learned (though seemingly contradictory):
Everyone needs to be touched. It's something about being human, I guess. It shows us that we are literally and physically loved. A hand held, an arm around, a brush of the cheek, little little things mean so very much.

Receive the Children, Receive the Christ

2011-07-30T01:35:00.000-07:00

"And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me."
Matthew 18:5

Children have such great light. I think I knew from the beginning of this great adventure that they would teach me so much more than I could ever teach them. I'm just beginning to learn how true this is.

Ten things I've learned from 24 hours in Chennai, India

2011-07-28T22:04:00.000-07:00

1) Bugs love me. I certainly learned this while in Cuerna Vaca, counting over
50 mosquito bites by my third day there, but I’ve been reminded of it
again, when after only 24 hours (and not very many of them spent
outside), I’ve already counted at least 10.

2) Indian English is not American English. And it is certainly not the
dominant language spoken here. In fact, I’ve been told that each Indian
state has their own language.

3) Apparently, I look like an Indian Celebrity. Her name slips my mind
(starts with a “S” and probably rhymes with something like Bika‐yikanandu),
but apparently I look like her.

4) I am white for a white person. For an Indian Person, I am florescent.

5) Indian spices don’t do good things to my stomach. Don’t worry, all
regular here, I just have to eat very, very slowly.

6) Here, the wealthier you are, the more adept you are at eating with your
hands.

7) You don’t wear seat belts in India, not because they cars don’t have them
(they do, just without the buckle part), but because it is much safer in
India than in the United States.

8) Jet lag is a very real thing.

9) If you live in a rural area, you can expect the power be out more often
than not.

10) If you do not honk your horn while driving, you are doing it wrong.

Also, Indian people are absolutely beautiful. And they are so, so kind.

India and I

2011-07-25T22:48:00.000-07:00

Chennai, India: Almost 10,000 miles away from San Diego as the crow flies.

Awaiting me there: Pathway orphanage; 200 plus children for me to love, serve and learn from.

I owe a couple thousand "Thank You's" to the men and women who have helped to make this experience possible. Words cannot express the gratitude and excitement that I feel. God has made blessed me greatly and He is ready to open my eyes to something incredible, something that (as of now) I cannot even imagine. I pray that I will be able to follow His spirit and to work through His love to make the most meaningful difference and to form the most meaningful relationships. I am faithful and I am thrilled.

Adventure

2011-06-16T22:10:00.000-07:00

Zip.

Another suitcase packed tight and I look around my empty room. I've gotten far too used to packing. It's not like it happens all the time or even all that often, but it's become an expectation. No longer does it make me anxious or afraid or even excited. It's just another zip and I'm on my way.

Of course just around the corner waits another adventure. The trip of a lifetime with my family and then a month in India. The packing and unpacking and loving with limited attachment is customary. I don't let myself get too close to anyone, because soon enough, I'll just zip myself back in a suitcase and leave.

And for now I return home. Adventure always brings you back to family. I sat looking at pictures on our Mickelsen blog and I couldn't help but think to myself that in the end, nothing else matters. Nothing else. Family is Beautiful and Family is Eternal.

I'm grateful for open suitcases. For open doors and drawers and beds and couches. For family members that have housed and fed and hugged me in this transitory stage. For faux families that bring my heart home. Sometimes I feel like I'm floating, but looking around, I see familial anchors of love below and pink balloons above.

Zip.

Another suitcase and another adventure.

Rememberers

2011-03-21T23:35:00.001-07:00

Dear Erin,

I’m a little late in writing, but two weeks ago today marked three years since you started your new life with Heavenly Father. I’m sure you’re very happy up there, working hard and loving much. But just so you know, we still miss you and remember you down here.

March 7th, 2011, I woke to a handwritten note, a pink balloon and a hug.

Two days earlier, I hiked a mountain for you. I brought along three of my dearest friends.
You know it’s funny, you never knew any of them. But they know you.

Lots of people know you, Erin. You left your mark on the world, through a lot more than a copper tombstone.

People remember you and think of you often. People want to know you and to feel your light.

Erin, Thanks for making eighteen months of my life sunnier. Thanks for making me laugh and giggle and talk like an idiot. Thanks for reminding me that life can pass you by if you don’t take silly pictures or do Dora puzzles. Thanks for teaching me how to say “Diego.” Thanks for letting me call you “Baby Erin,” even though you were (and are) centuries more mature than I am. Thanks for sharing my bedroom and never being selfish for more space, even when I was. Thanks for letting me dress you and doll you. Thanks for giving me and each of our siblings and parents special moments with you.

Thanks for making the three years since you’ve passed away miraculous. Thanks for looking down from the heavens and being my guardian angel. Thanks for teaching me how to write music and for giving me a voice (though that first song is completely God's). Thanks for teaching me how to cry for myself and occasionally for other people. Thanks for helping me know how to empathize with others. Thanks for being someone I can talk about, when other’s little ones slip away. Thanks for staying near my heart everyday and for being so darn cute in the picture I keep there.

March 7th, 2011, I fell asleep with dreams of tomorrow. I wanted March 8th to come so badly, so that I could forget again. So that I could let another year go by without wanting to drown myself in my tears.

Two days before, I called Dad for his birthday. We talked briefly of your upcoming celestial birthday, and he reminded me that I have never been home for a March 7th.

Tears came fast. I remembered that I am and have been alone.

But then you reminded me of something beautiful. You reminded me that even though I’ve never been home for a March 7th, I’ve always had pink balloons. I’ve always had mountains to climb and loved ones to climb with. I’ve always had rememberers.

People remember you Erin, and think of you often. I am one of these people. I cry for you unexpectedly, but I also smile at your memory regularly. Thank you for being my angel.

March 7th, 2011. Today I got to remember you. And God made today beautiful.

All my Love (and then so much more),
Rachel Jean

The Musings of an Ixtrovert

2011-02-08T17:53:00.000-08:00

“Well, I’m an N,” she explained.

We were sitting in R.A. class discussing different communication styles and personality types. We had all taken a survey giving us four letters that categorized us according to trends in our personalities. The only result I remembered from my survey was an “E” for “Extrovert.” However, as I read the list of qualities of an Introvert versus an Extrovert, I found that I identified with both personalities, though not wholly with either of them. I was curious as to where I fit in the spectrum.

Refusing to trust the results spit out by said survey, I’ve become more observant of myself over the past week or so. Here is the data I’ve gathered:
• I’m certainly not afraid of people, but I absolutely love my alone time.
• Often, I prefer playing the piano or guitar to myself over going out to social gatherings. But then again, I have nothing against strumming my guitar while socializing with a few close friends.
• My three favorite places in the world: the temple, the cemetery, the MOA (respectively). Nevertheless, I love sharing those places with one, maybe two people at a time who are important to me.
• I love intimate conversation, but heck, I can work the crowd at a big party.

Based on my findings, I’ve labeled myself an Ixtrovert rather than an Entrovert. I feel like the introversion is more dominant and I feel like I might know myself better than a silly quiz. I use my alone time to refresh and recharge, to do things that I love. I’m not against people, I love people, I love watching people and observing their peculiar behaviors. Truth be told, people fascinate me. But I guess, I can fascinate me too. The conversations in my head (as insane as that sounds) are also intriguing and that’s probably why I find so much joy in writing; I get to recount those conversations in a way that can include others. But therein lies the dilemma. Writing needs an audience just as much as talking needs an audience just as much as thinking needs an audience. Even if it’s your own self, it’s somebody.

I used to say, “I don’t need people.”
One time when I said that, my friend responded to me skeptically, raising an eyebrow. Suddenly, I felt horribly arrogant.
“Well, I mean, I need people, but I don’t need them, you know?”
Of course, my response made about as much sense as a goose wearing a tutu. What I was trying to explain was this idea that I am an introvert, but not so introverted that it turns me into a recluse. I’m extroverted, but I don’t require constant social interaction to feel alive. But maybe most people are like that. So maybe I’m not an Ixtrovert after all. Maybe I’m just me.

Distracted by Beauty

2010-12-16T11:36:00.000-08:00

Some of my favorite works of Art (things that have touched me):

Salvador Dali "Meditative Rose"

"Thought of You" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBk3ynRbtsw&feature=fvst

This was in the Art Museum last winter semester. I could sit in front of it for hours. (by Michael Scoggins)

This Is Just to Say
by William Carlos Williams

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

"There Will Be Rest" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7ppLOOCiY0

Chasing Love

2010-12-10T15:41:00.000-08:00

(the work previously known as "True Love Bah Humbug")

[Preface to the following piece: There is a folder hidden on my computer entitled "Splatter." In this folder, you will find all of the things I have written when I just need to write, none of which I ever intend to publish. They are just thinking pieces. I rifle through this folder at times when I am trying to refind myself, to retrace myself. I was doing just that earlier this week and stumbled upon this piece I wrote last March, yes, last March. It made me laugh, so I thought I'd share. Also, I think that maybe I should start taking my own advice. Anyways, Enjoy!]

True love may or may not be a myth. I believed in it until I hit my teen years.
There was a boy named Terry in my middle school band class and he had the most beautiful eyes, stunning, penetrating blue. We even called him after them: “Sexy eyes.”
I thought that I liked him. We used to talk on AOL Instant Messenger for hours on end. One day, as I was looking at my friend Ashley’s profile, envying the words dedicated to her boyfriend, (“i <3 cody”), Terry suddenly sent me a message.
“Rachel”
“Yeah?”
“There’s something I want to ask you.” My heart jumped at the possibility of this request.
“Yeah?” The anxiety was rising and my fingers began shaking, my heart leapt and I started perspiring in areas where I didn’t even know I had pores.
“Do you want to go out with me?”
The question I waited for so long was now on the screen before my eyes. He loved me as I loved him. I would be able to add those beautiful words to my profile “i <3 terry.” We would eat lunch together and walk around campus holding hands. I would no longer be the depressive, chubby girl. I was going to have my very own boyfriend.
As I typed my response, I hesitated. I knew my parents would not approve, but who cared? This was my one chance at true happiness!
“Yes,” I typed. Three solid letters were all I needed and my fate with him was sealed. He quickly signed off and I awaited the next day at school.

Long story short, turns out it was his friend, just playing a stupid prank on me.
So I stopped believing in true love.

Years later, when I lived on my own in Mexico for five months, I only went on one date. I was very afraid of lusty Latinos. Trying to create casual conversation, Arturo, my gentleman of a date asked, “Do you believe in Prince Charming?”
At first, I didn’t understand his wording. The phrase “Principe Azul,” which directly translated means “Blue Prince,” didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. After some questioning, and learning the proper translation of the words, I quickly responded, “No.”
He looked at me, bewildered.
“How can you not believe in a Prince Charming?”
“Well,” I responded coolly, my words slicing with feminist passion, “I don’t think there is just one man out there for me. I think that I could make it work with anyone.”
Baffled, he continued, “Do you believe in true love?”
“I suppose. I believe in God’s love, but I don’t believe that I have ever ‘truly loved’ anyone.”
Again he looked as though he was about to drop to his knees. Maybe it was just a symptom of the lusty Latino disease.

I’ve grown up a little since then and heck, I’ve had my heart broken a couple times. I’ve found men that I adore, but just aren’t right for me. And then I’ve found my dream god of a man, who doesn’t even pay me attention.
So, maybe true love exists, maybe it doesn’t. I won’t say that it exists for me, but I won’t deny it either. All I know is that I haven’t found my Hercules, and he probably won’t come crawling to me either. Love doesn’t work that way.
Even in the movies, a lot of effort goes into making that romance work. You have to find the perfect couple, with just the right chemistry. Physically, they are a good match, their speech patterns and body movements complement each other, and when it’s time for the kiss, the audience can feel the magic. In Hollywood, they create romance. I’m surprised to be saying this, but reality is no different.
If you want love, find it. If you want romance, chase it. If you have found the one of your dreams, embrace them. Don’t sit and wait for your Blue Prince or Sexy Eyes to roll around. You’ve got to fight for him.

Bruised Hearts

2010-12-06T00:55:00.000-08:00

When you mess with my girls, you mess with me.

My best friends are the most amazing people and they don't deserve to be cast aside, disregarded, avoided, ignored, etc. In fact, what they deserve is praise, adoration, positive affirmation and love.

Do me a favor? When you look at people, look a little bit deeper. Beauty is so deep within people and sometimes we choose to ignore it. My girls are incredible girls and you loser boys are missing out by ignoring them.

No one deserves to be left alone, not nobody.

A Leaf in the River

2010-11-26T22:38:00.000-08:00

Life is transitory. Things will and do change. This Thanksgiving, I worked. I was also away from my immediate family. Both firsts for me.

Yesterday my cousins, Kira and McKenzie, were playing with hole punchers that cut out shapes of people. Kira called for me to come look at their work, “Come see our timeline!” she said.
“A timeline? A timeline of what?”
McKenzie, embarrassed, hid it under the table and said, “It was Kira’s idea!”
She finally conceded to showing me and I read the title on top: “Timeline of Love.”

Later, when I came back to the table they had filled more of it in. The timeline started with the couple at Olive Garden, the boy sporting a blue “BYU Cougars” shirt. Next came their wedding, the girl dressed in white, “Look, I made her dress modest!” Kira explained. Next came the first baby, then “passing on.” The timeline was short, but it was precise. It was exactly the way that love works.

A cookie cutter life: The perfect BYU boy, the modest wedding dress, and the first baby.

Life is transitory. Things will and do change. That simple, perfect childhood dream changes and molds to fit who you need to become, who God needs you to become. You work on Thanksgiving. You gain a greater appreciation of family. You keep your eye out for the boy in the “BYU Cougars” shirt. You trust the changes and like a leaf flowing in the stream, you follow the flow of the river. After all, the Creator knows much better than you which current you should follow.

The Scriptures and The Savior

2010-10-09T22:47:00.001-07:00

These are two HUGE lifesavers for me.

Everyday I am gaining a greater appreciation of what Christ really did for me.
I am so blessed.

Angels

2010-10-04T08:23:00.000-07:00

I'm grateful for people who make me better everyday. For people who lift and inspire me, who make me set goals and expect me to stick to them. I'm grateful for people who are incredible exemplars of Christlike love. I can be like them.

Simplicity

2010-09-23T00:08:00.000-07:00

"The simple secret is this: put your trust in the Lord, do your best, then leave the rest to Him."
--Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin

What I'd Like to Be Remembered By

2010-08-02T11:08:00.000-07:00

This is a conversation I had with a kid at work:

Kid: "Do they bite?"
Me: "No, they're nice animals."
Kid: "Is that why they're always smiling?"
Me: "Haha, sure."
Kid: "Like you!!"

First things First

2010-07-25T09:34:00.000-07:00

As fate would have it, both of my Grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary's were this summer. That meant that my family and I got to spend two weeks in Idaho and Utah with our extended Davis and Mickelsen relatives. This could not have been more perfect for me.

You see, when your family is all together, undisturbed by anything or anyone else, you realize how important they are. Sure, you're all quirky or loud or clumsy or opinionated, but in the end, you're all family. And when you're part of a family, you're part of something much bigger. Even with zero emotional attachment, you're part of someone else. And in the case of my big families, you're part of several someone else's. It's beautiful really. God knew that sometimes we would get lonely in this life, so he gave us an immediate safety net, an unwavering support group. And because of that, we must always remember, that Family comes first. Always. I believe it was Elder Nelson who said that Salvation is an individual matter, but Exaltation is a family matter.

Congratulations Grandma and Grandpa Mickelsen and Davis. It's really incredible what you've started.

Mountains

2010-05-02T21:28:00.000-07:00

The mountains in Provo are beautiful. For the last eight months of my life they were the constant I needed. In a time of new experiences and great learning they served as a symbol of the steadfast nature of God. They reminded me that while the world around me was changing by the second, God is always there.

As I drove out of Provo, I looked again to the mountains and realized that from my home in California, I would no longer be able to see them. That physical symbol, that had comforted my heart for so long, would not be in plain sight.

Still, God is there. His power and influence is real. He loves us.
"And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up." --Doctrine and Covenants 84:88

One Day Without Shoes

2010-04-09T11:44:00.001-07:00

What an incredible experience!

It was really fun to see the surprised looks on the faces of everyone else on campus staring at my barefeet. There may have been a total of 10 people on campus who took part in the movement, but I'm grateful that I did.

This little girl was the inspiration for my taking part in it. Coco and I decided to make shirts that helped describe our actions. She was on the front and on the back was the well-known Gandhi quote: "Be the change you want to see in the world."

My feet were pretty sore by the end of the day and pretty dirty too. I can't imagine going every single day barefoot. It's funny how easily we take little things like shoes for granted.

Today's challenge: Donate a pair of shoes, a shirt, jeans that you don't wear very often, whatever it is to a D.I. or a Salvation Army.
We really have SO very much and there are millions of people out there who would die to have what we do. And who may die without it.

Nevertheless

2010-04-05T00:12:00.000-07:00

Happy and Beaming with Joy.
Life is good and everything is falling into place.
Actions that I once feared have turned into radiant blessings.
Smiles take over my face and I like it.
I like you and like that you read my heart.
Understanding is hugely important.
A prophet lives on the Earth today.
He is so wise.
Just be Kind.
Never, ever be Mean.
None of God's children deserve that.
Purple is starting to be a new favorite color.
I still can't believe that you read my whole blog, that only means the world to me.
Frugality is so enjoyable.
Indecisiveness is not.
Serving people always makes life more worthwhile.
To have Holy Places is very important.
We can make everywhere we stand a holy place.
English Teaching it is.
For now.
Jazz Music still sways my heart.
I love dancing.
I'm getting addicted to Post-it notes.
California is calling to me, very loudly.
I only drink water.
New shoes are fun.
I like to think of Isaiah as my "apple-a-day."
I'm pretty jealous of 19-year-old boys.
21 seems really far off.
Though, serving the Lord full time is completely worth the wait.
Nevertheless, I'll start now.
With Love.

Little Sister, Guardian Angel

2010-03-03T08:41:00.000-08:00

The sunshine face and the child of God,
A run-away sleeping beneath the water.
A gentle laughter is her call
And she walks light-footed through the leaves.

She is unafraid and loves her mother,
She doesn’t cry and she doesn’t cough.
Not even two feet tall or aged,
But she knows her place and stands unmoved.

An example for the shallow in heart,
A timeless prophet, teacher, friend.
She will instruct and she will obey
And she is not wary of finality.

A sacrifice:
She fell in honest, willing, triumph
And dove into the water deep
Sealed forever in our family’s name.

A fate that I would not have chosen,
A fear that haunts me every night,
She is the courage, she is the heavens
And strict obedience was her plight.

She is all of us and she is gone.
She is nothing but fallen dust.
Who once brought sunshine now brings thunder
And broken hearts and hardened crust.

Find her in me you will not.
Find her in me you will.
She is a memory and a fable,
And is buried on a forgotten hill.

Her body fell into the water
As her spirit rose into the sky
He is her Savior, she is His daughter,
From heaven she sings his lullaby.

Coming Together

2010-02-12T15:29:00.000-08:00

It's amazing how when you truly give God time in your life,
Real Time
Quality Time
Sacred Time
He gives ten fold back.

Things have really been coming together for me recently.
I am so grateful to my Father in Heaven.

Indecisiveness

2010-02-08T17:06:00.000-08:00

I've been questioning my major a lot recently.

Then I realized that I've never actually been through the list of majors that BYU has to offer.

So I looked.

I wrote down anything that stood out to me.

That felt right.

Here's that list:

Every foreign language I saw is written on it.

Here's my most recent thought: (Thanks Mom)

Major: Spanish Teaching

Minors: English and History

Other: French elective credits with a semester abroad.

Yeah. I like the sound of it.

Advice? Please.

Purity

2010-02-01T19:47:00.000-08:00

I'm sick of the melodrama.

I'm sick of reality TV Shows.

I'm sick of desensitized justification.

I'm not judging. I promise.

It just hurts my heart. I don't want to let something so vile into my life.

I just want to let Him in.

I want purity, not reality TV.

Dear Javier,

2010-01-26T20:25:00.000-08:00

and all my friends:

In Sonnet 116, William Shakespeare offers a brilliant explication of ideal love. Constant, Unwavering, and Powerful. Forgive me if I'm too poor of a friend to show that.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

This video is one of my favorites: What-Matters-Most

"We Should Not Assume, We Should Let Them Know."

I'm Sorry. I love you.

2010-01-18T13:39:00.001-08:00

I love my family. Alot.

Things I Am Afraid Of

2010-01-11T12:34:00.000-08:00

(This is not a gift to all of you cruel people out there who have some desire to frighten me. Rather, this is a thoughtful attempt to compile a list of all of my fears, quirks, oddities, etc. in hopes that in the process I may solve some of my problems :)

1. Needles, shots, injections of any kind

2. Walking into a Men's Restroom

3. The Dark

4. Hurting people

5. Losing things (material things, like leaving them somewhere by accident)

6. Losing people (hearts, like leaving them behind, or being abandoned by them)

7. Watching Someone Die

8. The Joker

9. Addictions

10. Evil disguised as good

11. Emotional Manipulation

12. Pride

13. Imperfection (in some things)

14. Making people fall in love with me

15. Being Responsible for/Managing Money

16. My subconscious competitiveness

17. Dressing Immodestly

18. Movies that are almost clean

19. Hospitals

20. Heights

21. The Smell of the Dentist's Office

22. Presenting myself openly for Criticism

23. My Parent's Disappointment

24. Holding Back the Truth from those I love

25. Forever

26. Not loving someone enough

27. Tearing someone away from God

28. Turning away from God

29. Rainbow Colored Goldfish

30. Forgetting

31. Shadows

32. Tripping in High Heels

33. A World without Color

34. Becoming Tone Deaf

35. Life without Romance

36. Knives

37. Close Friends becoming Enemies

38. Being Afraid

Art

2010-01-07T21:51:00.000-08:00

I spent over an hour in the art museum today. It's incredible to me how someone can evoke so much emotion with nothing but a canvas and an array of colors.

That's what I want to do with my writing. Some paper, a pen, and all the words in the world. I could really change people.

Happy People

2009-12-28T17:32:00.000-08:00

I've been putting off grading these finals for a week and a half now. I've started grading several times, but I just haven't been able to get through them.

Today, my family banished me to the Public Library so that I would actually get them done. I sat at my desk for about an hour and was actually doing pretty well staying focused. Then, my gum started losing it's flavor, my laptop was gasping for breath and my back hurt from bending over. I decided to take a walk.

I made it as far as a desk across the hall way. When I pulled the chair out to take my seat, a book on the table next to me caught my attention.

"The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People."

I've read a few books like this, I think the best ones being the scriptures and Conference editions of the Ensign, but what intrigued me about this book was the subtitle: "What Scientists Have Learned and How You Can Use it."

Science? I thought to myself, What does science have to do with being happy?

I picked up the book and returned to my desk in the corner. As I flipped through the table of contents, I was surprised to see exactly 100 chapters listed. Each "simple secret" had it's own title. These were some of my favorites:

(forgive me, this list might get long :)

1. Your Life Has Purpose and Meaning

3. You Don't Have to Win Every Time

6. Cultivate Friendships

7. Turn Off the TV

8. Accept Yourself--Unconditionally

14. Share with Others How Important They Are to You

22. Pay Attention. You May Have What You Want

24. Do What You Say You Are Going to Do

25. Don't Be Aggressive with Your Friends and Family

33. Little Things Have Big Meanings

34. It's Not What Happened, It's How You Think About What Happened

36. Laugh

39. Busy is Better Than Bored

40. Satisfaction is Relative

50. Cherish Animals

51. Make Your Work a Calling

52. Never Trade Your Morals for Your Goals

58. Events Are Temporary

61. Be Positive

70. Smile

72. You Always Have a Choice

75. Listen to Music

81. Be Conscientious

83. Enjoy the Ordinary

86. Envying Other People's Relationships is Pointless

88. Focus on What Really Matters to You

91. Don't Let Others Set Your Goals

92. You Are a Person, Not a Stereotype

100. What Does It All Mean? You Decide

(David Niven, PH.D.)

I know that my happiness comes from the gospel and the peace I find within it's truths, but I love to find little things that I can do to increase my happiness and the happiness of others.

Having said this, I have a little challenge for you.

Pick one thing, one little itty baby thing, that you can do to make your life happier. It can be something off this list, something you come up with yourself or something that your old Gramma Dorothy told you fifteen years ago. Pick that one thing, and Do It. Today.

Even though it may hurt

2009-12-12T22:39:00.000-08:00

I refuse to believe there is such a thing as loving too much.

Never Forget It

2009-12-01T23:44:00.000-08:00

I've spent the past month and a half in desperate contemplation, wondering what new enlightenment, or amusement, or feeling I could offer you from this blog. I've written poems, short stories, songs, narratives, and nothing seems to fit.

Not even this.

Something wonderful happened today that caused me to reread some of my previous blog entries.

I realized that I needed to take a moment to acknowledge the everlasting presence of God's hand in my life.

I am so blessed.

I don't know what I've done to deserve God's love in such abundance, but I have it.

I hear it in the rushing of the wind.

I see it in the sparkle of your eyes.

I smell it in the falling of the rain.

I taste it when I bite into a crisp red apple.

I feel it everytime I breathe in

I know. I know. I know.

And I'm happy.

Breathe

2009-10-12T15:20:00.001-07:00

It's been way too long.

I need to write. To just write. To breathe and to live. Through the words that make me.

Therefore, please forgive me if I don't seize your attention, if I don't leave you with your jaw on the ground, if I don't present anything revolutionary, insightful or uplifting. That's not my intent.

---

Last year in AP Lit, we had to do these terrible papers called logs. I actually only ended up writing two, but it was the third, the one that remains unwritten and resulted in my lowest grade in high school, that has had the greatest impact on me.

When I read Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman, the few people that I were able to talk to about it had hated it. This was distressing seeing as I had absolutely loved the play; it left me bawling for hours. Then, a few weeks ago, when I decided to take a shortcut through the HFAC, I passed one of several posters advertising upcoming events in BYU Fine Arts. One such poster caught my attention and I was elated to find that the same play which I had so enjoyed last year was being put on by the department. In that very moment I determined that I would go, even if I had to live without bread for a few weeks.

It was phenomenal.

I won't go into the artsy details, even though the form was amazing. I won't go into the specific characters, even though they were portrayed outstandingly. I won't even go into the depth of the message shared, even though it would drive the coarsest person to tears. If any of these things are of interest to you, by all means, let's chat. I could talk for hours about these details.

What I will share is my heart.

Each one of God's children is of infinite worth. Each one of God's children deserves a life of love, deserves feelings of self-worth. Willy Loman is real. He is as real as each and every one of us. He breathes, he eats, he cries, he laughs, he feels. I don't want to lose that. I don't want to lose that sense of reality. I don't want to lose sight of who I am. I wander through life with my eyes closed and with my heart sealed shut. I block out pain and I run from sorrow. It's only in those moments of greatest torment that I allow my grief to spill into my pillow. No one else gets to know. No one.

But I am real. I do cry. I do doubt. And I'm also happy. Life isn't meant to be lived in tears. Sometimes hard rains will fall, but a rainbow will always follow. A rainbow, well, I'm not really a rainbow gal either. But go with me for a moment. Close your eyes. Open your mouth. And smell the rain. Life is renewed. You are refreshed.

Hit Me.

2009-08-24T05:00:00.001-07:00

I've been up all night packing.

It really shouldn't have taken this long.

I'm driving up to college today. Leaving in a few hours actually.

I keep waiting for the reality of it to hit me. To sink in. I'm waiting for the tears to come. I said my goodbyes. Why is my heart not heavy?

This is Right. This is where I need to be in this point in my life.

It's time for a new adventure. For a new challenge. I feel like my life will kind of be a series of adventures and transitions for the next while. And I'm ready for that.

Bring it On.

Soul Searching

2009-08-19T16:50:00.000-07:00

I just want to make right choices.

One of the lessons learned in Mexico:

It is just a good feeling knowing that you are doing what is right. Yeah, some days were harder than others. Sometimes I felt like I was never coming home.

In those moments I would just close my eyes and offer a silent prayer and such an overwhelming feeling of peace would come over me.

Sometimes in life we look for pleasure or for fun. But we forget to look for peace. Joy comes from peace. True happiness comes from peace. Sometimes we are so focused on "the moment," "living in the now" that we don't realize how much harm we are doing to our souls. The soul is something to be careful with. We only have one.

Doctrine teaches that the soul is made up of the spirit and the body. When we do anything to our body, it also affects our spirit.

I transported my body all the way to Mexico. In making the decision to go there I prayed and fasted diligently, looking for an answer, for an action. The prompting I received was "It is not meet that I should command in all things." I made my decision. It was right for Me, and it was worth it.

There is such a great peace that comes from doing God's will. I've been looking for that peace. But I think the prompting is about the same. To finish the verse "...For he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant" (D&C 58:26)

I want to be the Lord's servant and to dedicate my life to Him. In a few days I get to start over, just like Mexico. I pray that I will right any wrongs I have committed. I pray that I will improve myself daily. I pray that I will find P.E.A.C.E.

Memo to Self

2009-08-03T18:35:00.001-07:00

It's pain-relieving

to listen to your own

Tears.

Moonlight

2009-08-01T22:28:00.000-07:00

Sometimes your heart just needs to cry. Your eyes well up until they spill, teardrops gliding gently down your cheeks.

You're not sad. Just being.

You can not "be" without "being."

You are real. You break. You wish. You dream. You hurt. You want. You act. You wonder. You doubt. You long. You question. You trust. You are.

You are.

Tell me that you have never looked at the sky above and stopped breathing.

Tell me that you have never asked God, as your father, if he really exists.

Tell me that you have never dreamed of romance, of finding that one true love.

Tell me that you have never doubted what you already know to be true.

Tell me that you have never slipped up or made a mistake.

Tell me that you have never wanted to rewind, felt that pang of regret.

Tell me that you have never longed for something, knowing that it's not good for you.

Tell me that you have never wished selfishly.

Tell me that you have never examined your brain, looking for you.

Tell me that you have never listened to your thoughts as they race through your mind.

Tell me that you have never desired to stop.

To just stop for one moment.

To Breathe.

To Feel.

To Be.

Really?

2009-07-27T23:11:00.001-07:00

Whoever decided that it was legal to get SICK during the Summertime?

I thought that was impossible.

Especially for me. I never get sick.

GAH!

(By the way--I love my life :)

Faith

2009-07-22T22:30:00.000-07:00

"And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up."

--Doctrine and Covenants 84:88

He is the Way. The Only Way.

My Heart is His.

freedom |ˈfrēdəm|

2009-07-17T10:11:00.000-07:00

nounthe power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint

I love Abigail Howe. Words can't explain how much I missed her.Recently, we've been spending alot of time together. [This week especially since her show is over.] She is one of my favorite people to talk about religion with.
Anyone who knows me, knows that my religion, my faith, my standards, my beliefs: define who I am. They make me, ME.
Last night, Abbey and I attended a Poway Interfaith presentation about the Mormon Church and the Roman Catholic Church. There was a presentation on the basic beliefs of both churches and then a Question and Answer period afterwards. At the end of the Q&A period, a older Jewish man stands up and says "I'm going to take the liberty to make a comment rather than a question." He goes on to explain how blessed we are to live in this time. To live in this day and age when we can calmly and openly discuss such different religions, with minds of tolerance and understanding.
I had been thinking the same thing throughout the meeting and this older man's comment called my mind to serious reflection. I have SO much. The founders of this country, this great nation, came for religious freedom. Religious persecution has and will continue to be a trend throughout the ages. The cause of wars, rebellions, revolutions. But more than that, religion is the cause of peace, joy, faith and hope. In a troubled world, we need our faith more than anything. We may not agree on details or specifics, but we can and must agree on one thing. Jesus Christ is the son of God, and our Saviour and only through Him can we be saved.
Men are free according to the flesh. (2 Nephi 2:27) Men have the gift agency. Though this agency grants us the freedom to choose we must remember that it was NOT free. Christ paid the price. Christ suffered in Gethsemane. He bled from every pore. He died on the cross. And what's more, He resurrected on the third day. He gave us our freedom.
I find this freedom when I feel the Spirit. I exercise this freedom when I act on promptings of the Spirit. All of God's children are entitled to receive revelation for themselves, thus, personal revelation. My prayer is that we might not take for granted this unmerited gift. That rather, we might exercise our own freedom, ask of God, and become His servants.
I am not perfect. But I am free. And I choose God. I choose Faith. I choose Joy. I choose Peace.

I'm Home

2009-07-08T10:27:00.000-07:00

I was freaking out. Super nervous. Scared Even.

I am SO happy to be home.

It's taken a while. Some readjustment. No. LOTS of readjustment. But the Lord has again put me to work and I am doing my best to lose myself through selfless service to Him.

I have the BEST of friends. People who really care about me. Family who loves me unconditionally.

I do miss those who I love who are still in Mexico.

My Mexico experience was the greatest blessing. One that I will never, ever forget. Thus the name of this blog will continue to me "Mexico and Me."

"And More...<3"

Life will go on past Mexico. I have college ahead of me. A world of wonders. A mission of my own. A family of my own. A life completely my own.

I don't ask that you to continue to read this blog. I can't assure frequent updates. But I can and do promise that I need to write. This is my expression. This is my form of being. This is what I believe. It is (and should be) different from what you believe, how you find peace and means of expression. But these fingers,

my fingers,

as they type away words

and pages

and ages

of life,

my life

will be here.

Will be ticking away at this keyboard,

as on

ticks

the clock

of life.

I'm Home.

My heart

is Home.

And I'm not going anywhere.

Reflections

2009-06-09T04:50:00.000-07:00

I'm finally coming home.

Today.

That time flew by so quickly.

At first I was scared, nervous. Five months is a long time and people can really change. I don't know what it expected of me, if I have measured up to the expectations, if people will but me in this box of who I was and try to crush all that I have gained. I LOVE the Mexican people, the Latino people. They have such a huge part of my heart it cannot be suppressed. I have grown up. I have lived on my own for almost five months. My love for those at home has not decreased, but augmented tremendously. I can not wait.

How can all this emotions be mixed into one?

It's something we call "bittersweet."

Another word for it is "Life."

Change and Progression. Touch the lives of as many people as you can and move on when the time is right. Do God's will and share Hid love to the fullest degree possible.

"Home is where the heart is."

That's the one that keeps getting me. How can my heart be split into so many different places?

For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.

--Matthew 16:25

I'm ready.

I AM coming home.

Adventures with Karina

2009-06-01T17:44:00.001-07:00

This weekend I finally had the experience of leaving campus for the weekend with someone other than my Grandparents. I was able to leave with Karina Pastor Castillo. It was SO fun.

I ate many delicious things.

I felt like I was playing with Karina again, because we enjoyed our eating SO much. :)

Saturday we went to Six Flags with Lizelot(I have NO idea how to spell her name), Geraldo, Arturo, Chucho Macoy and Chuchote. I bet you didn’t know there was a Six Flags in Mexico City. I went on Superman, and two different Batman rollercoasters, developed a fear of clowns, one called Medusa…I’m sure the rides at Six Flags in the States are better, but I still really enjoyed it.

I also got to go on a fantastic adventure called the Metro. I felt like I was in a movie. Everyone was running. It was awesome. And then more than half the people inside are standing up holding on to a pole wherever you can and you have about half a centimeter of bubble space. Then when it comes to a stop, you force your way through people and jump out the door like a superhero, or like the train in Anastasia or something.

Saturday night on the way home from Six Flags we stopped at a Taco Shop because Karina insisted that I had to try something. We got up there and she asked for a Gringa and the man behind the “counter” immediately gave me a funny looked. I couldn’t help but laugh, but it was a really yummy taco.

Sunday we went to church at 1:00, giving lots of time in the morning to eat about 7 bowls of cereal. I realized something though, and it must be the same in all big families. It doesn’t matter how late church starts, or how early you get up in the morning, you are always RUNNING out the door.

I played the Piano in Sacrament Meeting. Very Scary. I sightread two of the hymns I played.

Sorry. I have to leave this one unfinished. Soon enough, I will not have a time limit on Email.

ONE WEEK FROM TOMORROW!

12 days

2009-05-28T21:36:00.001-07:00

It seems like every song I listen to these days makes me think of home. I tend to cry more often than I should. And even though I’m sure I am counting the days accurately, the number seems to be growing.

I can’t wait for my Mom to get here. This is my world. My own little Gringa, Benemérito experience. And some one else will get to see it. Even though the experience is all my own. It always will be. It will be remembered in Blog posts, photographs, numerous emails home, journal entries, supportive notes from friends, my Spanish scriptures, class notebooks, and a terrible Mexican accent.

I have gained an even greater appreciation recently of how much I love life.

Following Claire's Example

2009-05-25T21:04:00.000-07:00

I was asked to sing a solo in Stake Conference (I pretty much get asked to sing for EVERYTHING. It will be a pretty rude awakening when I get home and I remember that my best friends and my younger sisters are one thousand times better than me. Actually, not a rude awakening. An amazing blessing.)

I wanted to sing I Know That My Redeemer Lives, but the arrangement I had picked up, the director ended up robbing to have the choir sing. Not a big deal. It just gave me five days to find a song.

My mother who has been so helpful every step of the way quickly sent me any arrangements she could find that would work in Spanish. As I sang them for the director, she chose the one that my darling and talented little sister had sung just weeks earlier "Mando A Su Hijo."

I was kind of nervous about singing in Spanish, especially because I memorized the words the night before as I was drifting off to sleep, but as we practiced that morning, all my nerves went away, and the choir was amazed by the beautiful arrangement.

The closing prayer was said to end an amazing conference (Let me remind myself one more time how BLESSED I am. Of all the millions of people in this world, I was chosen to have this experience. I love the Lord.) And I was handed the microphone at the top of the bleachers (it was in the gym...that's how big our stake is). As the rest of the choir sat, I remained standing, obviously calling attention to myself, and then proceeded to very, very awkwardly stumble down the bleachers. The mike wasn't on at first, but as soon as it was, the room went quiet and all eyes turned to me. Because I was singing postlude, the people who were getting up to leave, stopped right in front of me and turned.

I don't think I have ever been so nervous.

And then, there is this tendency in Mexican culture to videotape everything. In the middle of Stake Conference, everyone who was listening to me sing, pulled out their cell phone and pointed it right at me. I'll admit it was something I wasn't prepared for. However, God blessed me to bring his Spirit and I was able to follow in my sister's example.

TEMBLOR!!!!!!!!

2009-05-22T19:24:00.001-07:00

I am reading The Host by Stephanie Meyer. Although it's ridiculously long, I refused to read another in the Twilight Series and I wasn't in the mood to try and stomach Shakespeare.

I pulled it out to read in Psychology class today when we were discussing the effects of drugs on learning(plus, it's really catching my attention) and as I turned the page the words began shaking. I tried to get my eyes to focus, but then all of a sudden I started getting lightheaded as well. It felt a little like the motion sickness I get in elevators and the car sickness I get when I am driving with my grandparents.

I looked up at Karina, who was sitting across from me, and she was apparently feeling the same thing. Her eyes got wide and she screamed "TEMBLOR!"

As I looked around I saw the room start swaying back and forth and the ground shook beneath my feet. It took me a while to realized what was happening. Even in the small earthquakes I have been in before, I had never actually felt one.

Once I got regained my senses, I realized that the majority of my class had already run out the door. I followed like a Zombie, afraid I would fall down if I stood up.

As soon as we were all outside, the motion sickness subsided a little bit, but I did put my head between my knees "in jest." It really wasn't that bad, but it's the first I've ever felt and was sure a shocker.

I figured it was worthy of the blog.

Recent Accomplishments.

2009-05-20T14:12:00.000-07:00

Sorry I don't have time for a creative title or a well written story, but I am sitting in the library with my fifteen minute time-limit almost up and figured I owed you a blog.

1) I spoke in Church on Sunday. Yes, in my student ward. And YES, in Spanish. Ten Minutes, Baby. I nearly cried when the Bishop told me what my topic would be: "Families can be Together Forever" (Familias pueden ser eternas). As I was preparing, I kept getting the impression, you need to talk about Erin. I distracted myself by preparing a huge amount of doctrinal stuff, that was very deep, and as I practiced, talked for over ten minutes, without even getting to Erin. I figured I would be okay. And then, when I got up to the stand to speak (my wonderful, supportive gramma staring up at me), I felt prompted to NOT go into the doctrine. And then I cried. But I trust that I said what God wanted me to say, even if I still don't know Why. Maybe these people needed to see that I'm human. Maybe this was the best way to give my heart to them.

2) Yesterday, I went to my first Basketball practice. I nearly died. A few weeks ago, the coach came up to me and asked me to be on the team. I told him that I didn't know how to play and would be leaving in a month. He said that he didn't care if I didn't know how to play, or even if I wasn't an athlete, he recognized my enthusiasm and positive attitude: "I can teach you how to play, but it's much harder to teach someone attitude. You've got that. And that's enough for me, even if you can only come for a week, my team could learn from you." Yesterday, when we started out practice, he surprised me by lecturing the team about how good of a person I am, and how he recognized my enthuiasm. No pressure right. That's okay, I'm learning. Maybe by the time I come home I'll be able to shoot a free throw....:)

3) Thinking about coming home.

a) One thing I have been thinking about, is the ridiculous amount of clothes I have in my closet. I have basically been living out of a broom closet the past four months (four months exactly tomorrow), and wearing a uniform to school. I'm not a very decisive person anyway. How I ever learned to choose what I was going to wear everyday....I have no idea. And now I have to somehow reteach myself.

b) I learned how to make Salsa. All the different kinds. I'm making a recipe book. Hopefully, I will still remember what the food words mean in English. And will be able to find them in the Grocery Store.

c) I miss you! [Times up for today. 21 days left (three weeks exactly), but my mom comes even sooner!!!!]

Balance

2009-05-20T13:13:00.000-07:00

I really didn't think it would ever happen. I only have five months here, and I have myself pretty well established here as the gringa who doesn't want a novio.

But, it happened. I went on my first Mexican date.

Every Saturday (or is this case Friday when we don't have classes) they show a movie in the Salon de Musica, and it basically becomes the place to go for couples or potential couples. And Arturo invited me to go with him. No, not the pouty, desperate Arturo. The good Arturo (who I just found out is the nephew of my Ecology teacher ...:\).

After the movie he played me romantic serenades on the piano and then we walked around the campus and played on the playground. It was pretty fun. And boring. But it's the dating life of an interno, I guess. Atleast now I can say that I at least went on one date during my five months in Mexico. (Wow, Almost five months with only one date, I don't think that's EVER happened. Haha).

It has surprised me though how God has given such a wide range of experiences here. From mini mission, to directing choirs, to singing solos, to taking Mexican law, to doing excessive chores, to teaching Family Home Evening, to Influenza Scares, Everything has been for my good. Even awkward Mexican dates. :)

Cositas

2009-05-12T18:21:00.001-07:00

My brother who is serving his mission in Chile got to call my Mom on Mother’s Day, and I couldn’t.

Coming home for graduation and getting final grades is going to work out.

When I was teaching Family Home Evening, I finally told all the girls in my house about Erin. I cried so hard.

I taught them how to play FruitBasket. They loved it. And also made up their own rules.

I played basketball today.

I told the girls in my room about a boy I have a secret crush on here. Bad Idea. I can’t believe I forgot that Latinos don’t know how to keep secrets. Girls or Boys.

I am not going to read the next Twilight Books.

28 days left.

Crepúsculo

2009-05-09T11:51:00.000-07:00

My "English" class this semester has been really random and no one knows what we are supposed to do, so I finally went and talked to the English coordinator yesterday and asked her personally and very specifically what was required. She told me I had to read and take four tests on two books in the next month. Knowing me, slowest reader on the planet, I did not know how that would be possible. Anyways, I practically ran to the library and looked at the minute collection of English books they had in stock...Shakespeare, More Shakespeare, Series of Unfortunate Events (the WHOLE series), some scary huge looking novel, and the Twilight series. I'd already read my share of Shakespeare in the first periodo and though I was tempted by the Series of Unfornunate Events, very tempted, I figured since I read those in fourth grade, I deserved a little bit more of a challenge. And my eyes wandered toward Twilight.

I started yesterday and fell asleep on page 150...Knowing me, that's pretty good. And pretty bad, I am now entwined in the vampire craze. In Mexico.

Latino Paranoia

2009-05-08T21:15:00.001-07:00

Wednesday Night I arrived back at Benemérito ready to finish off a month of school and get away from the overdramatized Influenza (forgive me, “H1N1 Virus”) scare. I was not so pleasantly surprised when I arose Thursday morning.

Precautions Taken By Benemérito Staff and Students:
(This could make news with its ridiculousness)

1) We now have assigned seating in the Dining Room. We were each given a set of chlorine-cleaned dishes with a brand new glass. My set of dishes is for me and only me to use and after every meal I clean them thoroughly and replace them in my assigned place.
2) Face Masks are a requirement to enter school. If you do not have a mask you cannot enter classes, the library, the comedor, la cope, etc. While class is in session the mask must cover your nose and mouth completely and it is recommended that you change your mask every four hours.
3) If you sneeze or cough or complain of headache your fellow students are required to glare at you incessantly until the teacher recommends that you might want to see the nurse.
4) Every student is required to bring a rag to class and before and after each class the teacher will come around and spray disinfectant on your desk which you will then clean.
5) In order to use a computer in the library you must bring your OWN bottle of hand sanitizer and proceed to put it on in front of the supervisors. If your mask falls off, you will be asked to leave the area.
6) P.E. and Morning Aerobics will not be performed because of the close proximity of the students and the excessive breathing that occurs.
7) Lunch has been split into two segments so as to discourage the gathering of large groups of people. This change will take place in the casas as well as the comedor.
8) The traditional saludos of kisses on the cheek, hugs, handshakes, etc. will not be executed until we are formally notified. Touching at all is strongly discouraged.

In other words, this has been blown WAY out of proportion.

I hope that you can appreciate the privilege to breath, eat, greet, use computers, etc, as you please. Give an extra hug to someone this week :).

31 days 13 hours 51 minutes 08 seconds

2009-05-06T07:04:00.000-07:00

My mom says I'm getting Trunky.

I had never heard the word before and was slightly offended. It sounds a little risqué doesn't it?

Tomorrow my classes start again. Even though I've done very little productively over the past few weeks, I can't say I'm looking forward to it. One big month long stretch killing myself over grades and finishing work earlier and trying to please Mr. Fisher with my "Senior project" and preparing Musical numbers and still applying for Scholarships and trying to balance a hectic schedule....and then home. That's what I'm looking forward too.

What an experience this has been.

We just returned from Guadalajara. I can now say that I have been to five different states in Mexico and some of the most well known cities: Mexico City, Mexico, Chilpancingo, Guerrero, Tuxtepec, Oaxaca, Villahermosa, Tabasco and Guadalajara, Jalisco. If you count stops in between I can also count Cuernavaca, Toluca, Veracruz, Puebla, Oh, it's amazing!

I've gotten so much done in this short amount of time. I hope that I have at least touched the people I have been blessed to know. I know that I have learned so much from them.

34 13 34 18--I will treasure these moments.

Mexican Haircut and The Road Less Traveled

2009-05-02T20:10:00.000-07:00

So I was going to ramble about the experience of getting a Mexican haircut today: the 20 minute hair-washing/massage that actually really creeped me out, trying to explain in Spanish haircutting terms in English, and then the surprise result with the old woman styling, but I am kind of in a pensive mood right now. So I'll ramble about other things.

Right now my "I come home" Countdown reads 37 days, 21 hours, 58 minutes and 02 seconds. It has amazed me how this experience has flown by. April 1, my mom emailed me marking my halfway point and telling me that she had figured out that the grand total would come to 141 days away from home. So much has happened since that halfway point.

This was the RIGHT decision for me in my life. At this age. In these circumstances. In these 141 days. Everyday I learn something new and every day is a blessing.

Early on in my experience here, I started a list on my computer of things that I am grateful for. In reality, it was a kind of therapy. A way of escaping the challenges I was facing and truly taking the time to think about things I appreciate. I have also made a list of things that I have gained a greater appreciation for now that I've spent time here. Things like Dishwashers, Internet and Driving, but also things like Moms, Dads and Loved Ones.

God has kept me very busy on this adventure. He has blessed me with time to work, time to serve, time to sing, time to walk, time to study, time to clean, time to testify. But it's at times like this, when I can't sleep and have had days to think, that He gives me time to love. To truly love. To recognize all the blessings in my life and to praise Him for each and every one of them. Time to cry for those who are lost, time to listen to those I care for, time to look upon the hearts of those he has blessed me to know and time to love them the way that he does.

I cried for the first time in a long time today.

Yes, Because I am homesick, it's hard to be so close. But also in gratitude. How many people get to say that they have had the opportunities that I have had? How many people can love and be loved in so many different parts of the world? How many people know God the way that I do and can say that they have found true happiness?

Luckily, I am not the only one blessed to have found peace in that last question. But there are so many more seeking. To find God and to truly find God is the adventure of a lifetime. Many come so close and yet fall at the last minute. I wish I could always have the courage that God blessed me with on my mini-mission. Life is that simple, finding happiness is that simple, but we HAVE to know where to look.

For those of you, who have just spent 10 minutes of your day reading this: Thank You. I understand now, how precious time is, and I am grateful that you would make the sacrifice to allow me and my imperfect, superficial thoughts to be a part of your life. But I ask now, that you would take 10 minutes more, nothing more than that, and change someone's life. It really is that simple.

I love you. God loves you. Press Forward with a Steadfastness in Christ. Life was not meant to be easy, but we were meant to find love. Real, Perfect, Godlike Love. And if you have found it, please don't keep it to yourself.

Not dying of Swine Flu

2009-04-30T16:55:00.000-07:00

Seeing as schools are closed in Mexico until May 6th, I will be spending lots of time with my grandparents :).

How I've spent the time so far:

Walking
Going to the Gym
Eating
Watching the News
Learning how to Crochet
Walking
Catching Up with friends on facebook
Webcamming with the family
Talking to Karina on the Phone (constantly)
Walking
Helping Abbey set up Webcam
Webcamming with Abigail Howe!!!!
Sleeping In
Talking to more friends on the phone
Watching Old Westerns
Walking
Writing Scholarship Essays
Avoiding writing Essays in Spanish
Making cards
Eating Icecream
Walking
Dancing to Myself to Mexican Music
Searching desperately for a Good Chick Flick
Abusing the Video Message application on facebook
Reading Scriptures
Eating Cereal
Walking
Trying to figure out how and when to use a mask
Watching the News (nonstop)
Walking

I probably forgot something, or many things. Oh wait, I remember, WALKING!!!

Infinite Blessings

2009-04-19T05:53:00.000-07:00

How many people get to say that they are a returned missionary at age 17?

I know it only lasted two weeks, and not every particular detail matched the life of a returned missionary, but I was there. I was there. I was given the opportunity and blessing to prepare for my full-time mission, in the mission field.

I went out with this flawed and slightly arrogant idea that I would be able to change lives and impress my companion with how much I knew and how great my desire was to serve. I came back humbled, having been taught by soft-spoken, spiritual giant of a companion, having been taught by the loving and giving members of the ward and having been taught by the real people of México, the humble and the broken, who are willing to give everything to their God.

I finished this mini-mission in exactly two weeks, coming home on Friday. My companion and I nearly cried as we parted and exchanged Thank Yous and Photos. Darling Celsa wouldn't let me leave her home unless I promised to come back and she ensured me that she could find me a nice, handsome Mexican esposo. We checked Vanessa's house twice the day before I left, but we never found her. I waved goodbye to all the kids that knew me and made Hna. Gutierrez promise me that she would still say Hi to them after I left. It was without a doubt, a bittersweet experience.

I stepped onto the bus to Cuernavaca all alone. Thinking of nothing else but my mission and wondering if I had done enough, I casually slipped into my seat next to a man I did not know. All my life I have wanted to be able to start up conversation with the people sitting next to me on a bus or plane, but I've always been afraid. It's just a weird goal of mine. And Friday, I finally accomplished it. In my still imperfect Spanish, I asked him where he was from and with that start we were able to have at least a thirty minute conversation. When he asked me where I was from, he was obviously surprised to hear San Diego, Ca, so I couldn't help but explain about my mini-mission. I was so bold in my testimony that I even started into the first discussion, but then felt that it wasn't the right time. Nonetheless, he couldn't help but recognize my constant smile, and asked me several times Why I'm so happy. Having already borne my testimony to him, I had no fear in telling him the real reasons. Because of the gospel that I have, because I know truth, because I know who I am and I know God loves me. No I didn't get his address or give him a Book of Mormon, but I think he'll remember me. And one day when he's lost or when the Elders come and knock on his door, he'll be more receptive to the truth.

Hna. Gutierrez and I talked about that alot: Planting the seed. I only had two weeks, so I didn't get to watch all the development and growth and change of my beloved investigators, but I did my part. Even if my constant smile or my imperfect Spanish or my short, firm testimony was all that I left behind, it was worth it. God allowed me to be His representative, to bear His name with my own. And I will be eternally grateful.

Hermana Davis

La Iglesia de JESUCRISTO de los Santos de los Últimos Días

(These are just a few of my pictures, feel free to access the rest on facebook :)

I LOVE THIS

2009-04-13T18:35:00.000-07:00

I don't even know where to begin with the updating besides the fact that I only have four days left. I am going to work HARD.

Well, for starters, Tuesday was our Multizone conference with Acapulco. What did that mean? Elder Ross Mickelsen was there! I'll admit I was very surprised, because my companion had convinced me that it was only our zone, but then as I walked in to the chapel shaking hands with a row of missionaries, I looked up and saw the face of my cousin. Boy, was that a wonderful surprise. We caught up very quickly on our adventures, experiences, etc. and then like always, got back to work. The meeting included a wonderful discussion led by Elder Gardner, a spontaneous musical number by the Mickelsen cousins, a competition with the first two discussions, a message from Sister Gardner and then a very short testimony meeting. The spirit was so strong the entire time. These saints just live every day filled with the spirit, such an amazing feeling.

After the conference, I awaited the dreaded interview with President Gardner. Well, at least my companion was dreading it. I was a bit surprised when we spoke in Spanish, but then he handed me the phone and called my mother so that was nice. I do feel a little bit spoiled down here :P.

The rest of the week included, real, hard, missionary, WORK. I only was sunburned twice and only had one day when I absolutely could NOT eat the food. It wasn't awful, they just gave me a serving that could have filled Noah's ark.

We find new investigators every day and catch up with the "old" ones. I've found that where I'm useful is in testifying why I'm here and using the scriptures. Although I don't always know exactly what they say in Spanish, I know what they say in Enlgish. Thank goodness for Scripture Mastery and being raised studying the scriptures daily. (There are alot of things I have been grateful to have been raised with recently. For one, the majority of members here are converts. And then when I told someone that I have ancestors that were pioneers, I thought they were going to start bowing to me.)

We had our first baptism in a companionship on Thursday, a woman we really had to work and fight with. The day of the baptism it felt like all the powers of the devil were combined against us. But she made it and then Sunday she was confirmed. Darling sixty year old Celza. Whenever I see her I call her "Guapa," she likes that. Haha, though now she calls me Guapa too, we have fun :)

We brought two investigators to the baptism and they absolutely loved it. Their baptisms are planned for this thursday, but that might not happen because they still havent attended church yet. The baptismal service was very simple, though it also consisted of a spontaneous musical number by Hermana Davis. I know that I don't sing very well, but I know that God blesses me to feel His spirit when I am testifying, even through song. It did make me laugh though, when one of the Brothers who was sitting in the back was holding up his cell phone and...recording it. Yeah, I guess they really don't have anyone who can sing here. (I apologize, I love singing with these saints. They have absolutely no verguenza. None.)

The other day when we were walking home we passed someone who we had never met. I waved like usual, but then all of a sudden was filled with this enormous burning feeling. I turned to my companion and asked if we couldn't talk with him. She said maybe tomorrow. The burning continued until it was almost painful and I again I insisted "Why not today?" She again refuted, but told me we could go by later.
The next day when we passed his house, I was the one to go up and greet him, without even saying a word to my companion. He was sitting with his wife and three year old son in the front yard selling sabritas, fruta, agua, refrescos, etc. We began as usual and then started into the first discussion. He and his wife were very active participants in the discussion, asking questions, answering thoroughly, though his wife had her doubts. We felt compelled to leave a Book of Mormon with them that visit, rather than returning the next day to bring it to them. The next day when we payed them a visit we planned on doing a review of the first charla, but Santiago began going off on a tangent about his work. The discussion ended with all of us in tears and with me comparting the scriptures found in D&C 121 and 122 about trials. Santiago has such a big heart he cried all the way through.
He and his family attended Church on Sunday thought it was beautiful and can't wait to learn more.

I've had several more feelings like that and am truly saddened that I'll only be here for four more days to follow through with these investigators, friends and family, really. However, I do know that God sent me here for a reason, and that this mini mission will only last for two weeks for a reason.

My companion and I have really clicked and every time I mention leaving she is really saddened. I don't feel like I've been that much of a support for her, but maybe what she really needed was a friend. And an oddly and overly optomistic one. I think I've got that part. Sometimes I think I scare people with my constant smile. And then again, sometimes it's too welcoming. Though I've only gotten a few scary looks, and one person who asked if he could take a picture of my eyes.

I'm sure I've left something out. But I have to run. We've WAY outdone our time limit. Ijole. No manches...

Jajaja...Nos Vemos!!!!

All my love, Hna Davis

Hello Everyone

2009-04-06T17:26:00.001-07:00

This is Hermana Davis reporting from almost three days of active duty in the Misión México Cuernavaca. I am serving in the Chilpancingo, Guerrero District, Area Aeropuerto.

Oh, I love this.

My companion is Hermana Gutierrez who has been out for fourteen months now and is the sweetest thing alive. She's a little bit more soft spoken than I am, but we compliment each other well. She does the majority of the talking and I smile and wave at everyone.

Our area is beautiful. The people live in very humble circumstances, but because of this, they are very friendly and very receptive of our message. The difficult part for them is keeping commitments, making them is absolutely no problem. But then following through is another thing. Alot of them are embarrased because they don't have the normal clothing that members wear to church. Alot of them don't have money to get there. But we work with them and they are very patient with us (Me especially with my poor Spanish).

Yesterday I had my first experience of tracting and Hna. Gutierrez and I just decided to follow the spirit and the first house we went to we spoke to a family of about 8 and everyone was interested. I was a little nervous when right as we were about to leave the drunk dad walked out and tried to hug me, but maybe he's the one who will be the most receptive of the message. (I have only had a few creepers so far). I LOVE this work.

One of the families we went to wasn't really interested in hearing our message, but we helped them make tortillas (I think I only made one of them right...I definitely have a LOT more respect for the people who make them, it's hard!) and their youngest daughter, Saraí taught me a "Sol" song. Hna. Gutierrez told me yesterday that her father was poisoned to death by her mother, and now her mother is in jail, but Saraí is probably the happiest thing alive. There are some very sad histories here.

I've started carrying around lollipops and pass-along cards (the lollipops are for the kids--I seem to have a wonderful connection with them, they are all So beautiful. And I think it always surprises them to see a gringa. And the passalong cards, I "accidently" leave in the Combis--(the bus-like taxis that we take Everywhere :)

My black shoes are now beige/brown from the dirt and I wear grammas clothes wherever I go. It's very hot here and although I haven't been sunburned yet, I counted 21 bug bites on my body today. Bugs have always seemed to like the way that I taste, but I don't think I've ever counted 21.

My Spanish is getting better, though there are a few gringo missionaries here, who ONLY want to speak in English, it's kind of frustrating sometimes, because I know the Mexicanos feel out of place, but I think they just miss speaking in English.

I only have two weeks here, so I'm taking advantage of it as much as I can, but it's still so little. I wish I could finish off my adventures in Mexico here, but I think I have other lives to touch and other service to do. Though I did mention the idea to President Gardner.

I haven't lost any weight and I don't think I will, because Mexicans know how to EAT. I usually only eat a small breakfast and then one meal a day, but that meal is Huge. I haven't gotten food poisoning yet though. And the majority of the food I enjoy eating, rather than just forcing it down.

I am so happy here and send all my love home. I will send pictures as soon as I get back, but I might just be staying here for the rest of my life :D. I hope all is well! (And, give out a book of mormon this week. Or invite someone to church--it's really not that hard, I promise. I've already invited PLENTY of people)

Love, Hna. Davis

Chilpancingo, Guerreo, Mexico

2009-04-03T19:22:00.000-07:00

This is Rachel's Mom. Rachel just called me from Cuernavaca and is on her way to Chilpancingo, (just an hour north of Acapulco) where she will serve as a missionary for two weeks. SHE IS SO EXCITED.

Yo sé

2009-04-01T20:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was our Ward Conference and as many of you know my calling is, “La coordinadora de la programa de música del barrio.” Therefore, I was given the privilege of organizing and directing the Ward Choir for Ward Conference.

I experienced many roadblocks that I won’t go into right now. But if you ask my mom, my sister, my gramma or Karina, I was really stressing.

I decided to fast yesterday for nothing more that we could bring the spirit. I didn’t care if we messed up or if we only had five people. I just really wanted to at least serve the Lord by helping to bring the spirit into our meeting.

The strongest song that I had chosen was an arrangement of “I know that my Redeemer Lives.” The plan was to sing the first verse in English, the second in Spanish with women “oohs,” third with the choir and the fourth verse with the whole congregation. When I started to sing, even with all my nerves, I heard more than just my own voice. I know that God blessed me with the help of an angel.

But it was in the fourth verse that I really felt His presence.

The bishop had forgotten to announce that the congregation would be singing with us, so during the interlude I turned to the congregation, shouted out the page number and signaled for them to stand. I think I made it one line and suddenly my loud singing and obnoxiously large directing ceased. A few members of the congregation stopped with me, but probably for different reasons.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I do NOT like to cry in front of people. It’s just not something that I go around doing. I will fight back tears, bite my lip, fake a smile, whatever it takes, but don’t expect me to cry for you. Yet yesterday, in front of the whole congregation, in the middle of a musical number, I broke down. I didn’t rejoin until the last line in the chorus. And then I finished the number, shaking physically, but spiritually immoveable, “He Lives. Yo sé. Él vive.”

I ran to my seat without even seating the congregation or choir. Presidente Rogelio Osuna Ruiz got up to speak, and had trouble starting. He bore firm witness of his experience of gaining a testimony and his knowledge that the Savior lives. He referenced the scripture in Ether 12:6 “For ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.”

This past week, these past two months and 10 days have been rather trying. But I have worked hard and pushed forward faithful. And yesterday, in front of the whole congregation, I received my witness.

Yo sé que vive mi Señor. I KNOW that my Redeemer lives.

3 days until my Mini-Mission

2009-04-01T19:58:00.001-07:00

I am SO excited. <3

Mexican Tree-Huggers

2009-04-01T19:56:00.000-07:00

Every week for Noche de Hogar, one person from each room is assigned to teach. There are no assigned topics so honestly you’re allowed to just wing it, but most of the time the girls come up with something pretty creative to talk about. I’ve got some killer lessons in store for my family when I get back.

Last week we had the most creative lesson yet.

They started out talking about God’s creations and how we often don’t appreciate how beautiful our world is, etc. Genuinely, I thought that was really sweet. And then we moved into the more interesting segment. Our Hermana showed us the pictures of her dog and cat that she keeps in the back of her journal. They are no longer with us, but they serve as a reminder of the world that could be. We then went on to talk about how we need to be careful with the leaves and how even the grass is living. I felt like I was stuck in the middle of a conversation between Pocahontas and Al Gore. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good environmentalist stimulus every now and then, it just surprised me when we really did go outside, sit in a circle, hold hands and sing kumbeyah (maybe it was a different song, I’m not really sure, it was in Spanish, but it sure felt the same).

Then, Friday we had a field trip that all seniors are required to go on to the Vida Silvestre. It was more or less a ghetto zoo (Abbey and Karina, I couldn’t stop thinking about you :D) with a little spice of environmentalist propaganda. How I wish I could post pictures from here. I’ll admit I enjoyed myself, but I couldn’t help but laugh at the environmentalist trends I was experiencing.

Then to top it all off, today, our new Unit in Ecology class was Environmental Awareness. We watched a song/video by Roberto Carlos entitled “El Progreso” and then another about global warming. Feel free to look them up on youtube if you are feeling green.

I hope that I haven’t offended anyone or persuaded anyone that I am completely environmentally insensitive. I admit it’s a problem. I guess I just wasn’t expecting to be bombarded by environmentalist ideals in the middle of…Mexico City :).

P.S. I forgot to mention, Saturday Night we had a one-hour energy conservation party. Lights out, laptops off, phones “off,” everything.

In Memory of Daniel

2009-03-23T10:54:00.001-07:00

Earlier this week, we heard news that one of our classmates was injured during football practice and was rushed to the emergency room. Something was terribly wrong with his brain. That night we had a prayer together and the Hermana asked me to offer it. I made my first major mistake and blessed Daniela instead of Daniel, thinking they had said it was a girl. That's okay though, because the blessing on his family was still "su familia," so I did something right.

Then yesterday after choir, I was craving a piano for playing and walked all the way to the Seminary buildings to see if I could find one. I heard someone playing the piano so I knew I had access. There I ran into Hector (yes, the boy who gave me the Rubik's cube), who actually plays amazing-ly. We talked for a while and then finally he got really serious and asked me for help. Daniel lived in his house last year and Hector felt like his faith was waivering from this experience. God gave me the ability to testify and to comfort him, a talent that I have NEVER possessed. We talked for a long time about what we needed to do and then even talked about Erin. It was a difficult talk, but I know that God strengthen me and him, and gave me the words that he needed to hear. I don't know why God so often priveleges me by using me as an instrument in His hands.

Later that night, the Hermana called us all for oración. Very solemnly. She told us that that night, Daniel had passed away. Tears began to roll down the cheeks of my friends who surrounded me and even I found myself crying. (One thing I have learned about myself here is that i can't NOT cry when I see someone else crying). As soon as we finished the prayer, I ran into my room, locked myself in the bathroom and fell to my knees in tears.

I didn't know Daniel, but I KNOW the pain of his family. I had been fasting that day for them.

I got up from my knees and knew I had to do something. I got out my scriptures and a notebook and began writing. I wrote three and a half pages to his family. I have never written anything that long in Spanish. I only used my Spanish-English dictionary once. I won't be able to attend his funeral today because I have a choir presentation at 12, but I am again fasting for his family. I don't know if they are members or not, but I KNOW that they need strength. I also know, that in times of trial, the prayers of others can be literally felt, and angels will lift us up and comfort us.

Thank You to everyone who gave me strength a little over a year ago, who continues to give me strength. And Thank You to my God, my Heavenly Father, and to my Redeemer, who knows this pain, this sorrow, this heartache. We can have perfect faith, but we can also have godly sorrow.

I love you.

The Never-ending Smile

2009-03-19T19:00:00.001-07:00

Today we had to take pictures for the yearbook and for graduation. One of the pictures was for the government or something (I’ll admit I didn’t completely understand) for our graduation. The secretary of state has to approve us or something and they need our picture. ObV.

This picture was more or less a mug shot. We had to have all our hair completely pulled back, tight, with gel and such (i didn't dare use it) and we could not smile. Not even a little.

Anyone who knows me, knows it is very difficult for me not to pull faces in a photo. Whether it is smiling or pulling an obnoxious face, I just can't be serious. No. Not at all.

The photographer for our school has a secret crush on me, which I'll admit is a little bit creepy seeing as he is a ridiculously overweight, married, old man (I'm not exagerrating on his size by the way, Gramma can testify), and so he always has the tendency to take more pictures of me than necessary for any human being. But today he was very serious and was only going to take one.

I counted. We took 12. Either someone was making me laugh, or my mouth was turned up a little too much or I was TOO serious. Then all the kids tried to solve my problem and they realized what it was. My eyebrows. Of course. They were either raised too high, or turned too low, or looking confused. I swear the final picture is going to look like I'm drugged. But really, my eyebrows?

Failure at Blogging

2009-03-14T12:21:00.000-07:00

okay. Preface to this blog entry: It was going to be an Illustrated update of my adventures from the past few weeks that I have utterly failed to blog for, but my computer is being silly and not letting me put pictures and copying and pasting under the page and it's wierd. so I'm sorry, and enjoy.

1) The Guilt of Facebook

Last time I came to my grandparent's my mother asked me to get a facebook so that I could look at Marly's photos or post mine or something. I refuted for a bit, and then well, long story short, I gave in. Rachel Davis is now a victim of facebook. If you wish to see the pictures that refuse to be posted on this blog, then feel free to find them there. Of course, I only get access to it like once a month so I will not become an addict. At least not until I get home. Oh no.

2) March 7th, 2009

We all knew it would come. Not a date that could be avoided, but I didn't plan on being in a foreign country. Or away from my family. God kept me very very busy that morning: extra chores, lots of homework, phonecalls from friends and family, and then a choir trip in the afternoon. That's where I found the trouble. Too much time to myself. Though, I'll admit I loved looking out at the city. Driving through REAL Mexico, not the sheltered and safe Benemérito. I snapped a few pictures (again, which can't be added), but I really just enjoyed looking. The people are fascinating. Mr. Harris would have gotten some amazing photos :). Anyway, after we arrived at the location for our performance, we had some downtime. Alot of downtime. I'll admit, I did at least 20 laps around the church that we were singing at. And every so often I would run into someone, paste on my genuine smile and say that I was fine. I only managed to tell one person what was really going on that day. That was a difficult one. As soon as anyone knows they try and assure you that it's okay, that you will see her again, but I really do know all of that. Please don't doubt my faith. I know that we will be reunited someday. It's just hard sometimes. And that's something I couldn't know until I experienced it. I know this is God's will. And I have seen the blessings, but it's just part of life. "Life is difficult...Once we truly know that life is difficult-once we truly understand and accept it-then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters." I'm still in that acceptance stage. But I do know that we can choose to be happy, even admist the "unfairness" of life. Because we know that God is in control, and God is ALWAYS fair.

Erin, I love you and miss you. And I am so grateful that I got to remember you on that day. and everyday. I hope you got my balloon <3.

3)Music=Therapy.

I've only written two more songs while I've been here, but I play the piano, guitar and sing...Nonstop. I think it annoys my roommates :).

For our "Tertulia de la Exelencia" I played the same song on my guitar that I played for our Evening of Excellence. I was a little out of breath when I sang because I had just been running back and forth all around campus in the cold trying to help my bishop, but all the girls still loved it. I translated the last verse and the last chorus into Spanish and they all started squeeling when I began singing. I'll admit that singing that song, with my odd-style voice in Spanish was a little bit...different, but I felt like I was able to do something for them. That was a good night :).

4) A real live baby duck

Caro's boyfriend gave her a duck for their sixth month. Honestly, This is probably the most romantic thing I have ever seen. I was so super happy.

5) The mission experience:

I know had already mentioned that I was going to be a missionary for Benemérito and how excited I was about that, but things have changed a little bit. I was unable to participate in the Missionario Benemérito, but I will now be going to the Cuerna Vaca the first and second weeks in April during my spring break to serve a mini mission. There is a threesome of Sisters there and I will become the fourth. Living everyday like a true missionary. Working Hard, Preaching the Gospel, and Loving It. This weekend I came to Gramma's and we had a Sister Missionary Attire Fashion Show. More or Less this involved raiding Gramma's closet and seeing which clothes actually fit and were modest enough. I wish words could express how excited I am and how grateful I am for this opportunity. I get to hit the mission field before my brother. Wierd. Haha, love you all!

MIDE and Carranza

2009-03-14T08:26:00.000-07:00

(intended to be posted March 3rd, 2009, but I lost my flash drive...:[)

Today I had my first field trip with Bene. We went to the Museo Interactive de Economía. Although the museum itself was a little boring the experience was amazing.

First thing in the morning we all piled into the buses at the front of the school and I was so scared I was going to get terribly carsick and puke on the person sitting next me. They tried to get me to sit all the way in the back and I knew that was not a good idea so I found a more comfortable seat all to myself. Then, right before we were about to leave the tallest girl in the bus decided to be nice and come sit next to me. There was hardly any leg room. So much for sleeping on the way there.

That was a good thing I guess though because I was forced to open my eyes and experience Mexico city.

As we were driving over a bridge I had a view down at the buildings next to me. There was a man standing by himself with his shoes off and looking so desperate. As I looked longer, I noticed him starting to cry and as I noticed this, I noticed myself starting to cry also. I quickly glanced around the bus seeing if there was anyway we could stop, anyway I could just make eye contact with him. I said a prayer in my heart pleading that Heavenly Father would go to him, comfort him.

I am just so very blessed. As the drive continued I noticed other things. Moms walking through the dirt on the side of the road with their children, what looked like junkyards on top of peoples houses, a man sitting against a wall in the centro, barely having the strength to reach out his hand and beg for change. I thought about the kids in the bus with me. This is their reality. This is their world. And it’s wonderful. Coming to Poway would feel like Disneyland, or the mansions in Heaven.

Doctrine and Covenants 14:7 “And if ye keep my commandments and endure to the end, ye shall have eternal life, which gift is the greatest of all the gifts of God.” Endure to the end. I’m cruising along in the back seat of a light blue classic mustang convertible, with the wind blowing in my face a little more than I would like it to. I’m ready to give up my seat to the shoeless man, or the hitchhiking mother with her daughter on her shoulders, or my classmate who wears the same thing to school everyday.

I could learn from a little bit of walking on the side of the road.

First thing I did when I got to my grandparents.

2009-02-27T19:23:00.000-08:00

Eat.

ObV.

But what surprised me was as soon as I had my meal prepared I asked my gramma if we had salsa.

I'm surprised I didn't ask for a corn tortilla on the side.

"I like your face"

2009-02-25T16:36:00.000-08:00

Eric has always warned me about making my faces. Especially my dangerously creepy ones, because according to him I have a tendency to make those kind of faces at boys. I don't know what he's thinking. Making wierdly flirtatious faces at members of the opposite sex is nothing like me. Especially when I am struggling to speak in a foreign language and have to communicate somehow. My face holds no character or expressiveness.

Anyways, besides that rant...

Today I had another Choir Concert. We have been performing non-stop for the Anniversary of Benemérito. (Yes, Mexicans KNOW how to celebrate). We have sung the same songs so many times that today I decided to spice it up a bit. I've always been expressive when I sing, but I've tried to be more careful about that here 1) because I don't know the words and can't say them fast enough so I don't need to attract any attention to myself 2) because I don't know what the words mean so I don't want to express the wrong emotion and 3) because I'm already the white, gringa and attract plenty of attention.

So today, Sixth semester kids came and so I saw some of my friends. They screamed my name and "Macoy" :) all things that made me giggle anyways, but then, for some bizarre reason that comes from the fact that I am me....I started making faces. By the end of the concert I had EVERYONE's eyes on me. Not an exaggeration. They were laughing so loud and I just laughed with them. I've now solidified the fact that I am a little bit crazy. I guess they had to figure out some time.

Orange Roofs

2009-02-19T20:00:00.000-08:00

I live in Casa 17. The house next door is Casa 15. As I was walking home from Choir today I noticed how the roofs of all the houses are different colors. Then I noticed how Casa 15 and Casa 17 have almost the same color orange. That made me laugh. What a good color to choose to duplicate: Pumpkin Orange.

When I got home I started working on laundry, putting our clothes out on the clothesline to dry and I saw a boy from my ward that I had officially met on Sunday. He called me over, so I quickly finished hanging up the clothes and ran over to say hello. He had scissors in his hand, so I was a little suspicious.

"¿Puedes cortar mi pelo?"
"¿Mande?"
He held up the scissors and said "Mi cabello!"

I refused. Afraid of what I could or would do to it. So we started started talking. We talked for Two and a Half hours. In Spanish.

Let me repeat: In Spanish. How Miraculous. I know that I have had help with that one. Today marks 4 weeks exactly since I arrived, and what a blessing this has been and I know will be for me. I was able to talk to him about the church, about my testimony, about my trials here, about Erin. I even convinced him to commit to serving a mission and marry in the temple. I left the conversation elated.

I had to run home though, because I was afraid that I wouldn't have enough time to go to the library and finish my homework before 6:30 curfew. I ran in through the backdoor and without making eyecontact with anyone, just heading straight to my room. As I shoved opened the door, I nearly murdered my roommate. Then I looked closer at her. I had never seen her before. I didn't think I hit her that hard.

"Ay, Perdon." I exclaimed.
"No te preocupes." Then she looked at me closer. Those few awkward seconds seemed to last a lifetime. I closed the door and RAN.

Mortified. Chased by trails of laughter.

As I opened my bedroom door, I could't help but laugh out loud at how stupid I'd been. Caro walked out of the bathroom with a really confused look on her face. Honestly, I was just happy it was her face and not mystery woman. Dumb orange roofs.

Valentine's Day Traditions

2009-02-14T11:37:00.001-08:00

--Balloons. Balloons, Balloons, Balloons. I think that they must consider balloons the most romantic thing in the world. And this little anime type cow and the tazmanian devil are the most popular images. Kiss Me Now.
--Posters on the Houses and Classrooms. They do this for birthdays too. The process is to cut out as many cute letters and stars and hearts as you can and somehow laminate them.
--Only give to one person. If you give to too many people, you are either a loner who is trying to make friends or you are a player. (I made this mistake.)
--Households of Boys come and bring their five guitars and serenade you at 7:30 in the Morning. I actually enjoyed that one, besides the fact that I smelled like Morning Breath.
--Actually Hug. Valentines Day is the only occassion where people actually hug to greet each other. Every other day is the kiss on the cheek thing. It caught me by surprise when someone went to hug me. (Side Note: I have definitely learned to appreciate hugs now that I don't get them. ever. :)
--Mexicans are Gifts People. If you really put your time into doing something, even if it's like a little slip of paper that says "Te Quiero," it means the world.

<3333

Talented Guys and Dolls (aka my besties:)

2009-02-13T16:43:00.001-08:00

I love you all and miss you. Congratulations on your success in the show. All I hear are riving reviews. How I wish I could have been there to see it :)

Abbey & Jake

Eric, Karina, Josh, Marly, Jake, Javier

Karina & JT

Abbey and Jake

Jake - Luck be a Lady Tonight

Karina & Abbey - Marry the Man

This One is For Joshua Carpenter

2009-02-07T11:23:00.001-08:00

I am sorry for ever making fun of you for not wearing shoes. That's all I ever hear down here. "Zapatos....Zapatos!!...ZAPATOS!!!" So, I apologize.

Other oddities for your enjoyment:
-The most played song in Casa 17 is "Womanizer," in close second "Hot N Cold." (Third is "I'm Yours...so that's okay)
-We had eggs for breakfast this morning :) With peas in them...:\
-They have finally limited my time on the computer. Ten minutes per email.
-I woke up in the middle of the night last night from a nightmare. Recognized the painted white brick wall from my house and was suddenly at peace

P.S. Good Luck to all those in GUYS N DOLLS <3

Officially a Gringa

2009-02-06T15:34:00.001-08:00

I was called a gringa for the first time today. I've been called blanca. New Girl. Even gordita. But now, I have been officially marked as the gringa on campus. Just thought you should know:)

(Good News: I got 20/20 on my first Unit Exam! In Econ!!!)

21...How about 17?

2009-02-05T16:41:00.000-08:00

I am SO excited. When I came to Benemérito, I was told that it was a missionary oriented school, but I had no idea how missionary oriented. Apparently for one week of the school year, they give older students the opportunity to spend one week living like a missionary.

My seminary teacher mentioned it yesterday to the class and I didn't really understand what he was talking about. He was speaking only to the guys so I didn't really pay much attention. Then when he started asking for volunteers and only a few people raised their hands I started asking questions. I thought that was SO awesome that they gave boys that opportunity. Then I asked Viri if we could do it to. So when he asked again, my hand shot in the air. Some of the boys around me gave me odd looks, but then after I signed my name on the paper confirming that I would do it the other boys started standing up and signing their names too :).

As I enquired more about it, I found out that you live for one week (in April--so I'll have my Spanish down), somewhere in Mexico, you have a companion and you live the missionary life. I don't know much more, but I've never been more excited. Now if I get married before I turn 21, I'll still have served a mission :). Plus, this will probably do for Mr. Fisher, in place of the Senior Project. I am certainly "getting my hands dirty," but if I'm serving the Lord while doing it, what could be better.

P.S. Very off topic, but I recieved my first gift from a mexican admirer: A Rubik´s cube.

You're Always in My Heart

2009-02-02T13:20:00.001-08:00

So I've finished another weekend at Gramma and Grampa's. And this time I was a little bit spoiled. I got to email, chat with, webcam and talk on the phone to so many of you that I miss terribly. Honestly, it helped with the homesickness. But now I have to make it a month. I really am getting more comfortable here. The girls are so nice and helpful. But now begins the test of my true strength. And the measure of my faith and reliance of the Lord. I am happy. And I am loved. Now I must lose myself and go to work. <3

Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life. 2nd Nephi 31:20

Nothing Witty. Nothing Poetic. Just Me.

2009-01-30T19:04:00.000-08:00

Classes, Classes, Classes. I really am very busy. The first few days were fine, but I have three Unit Exams coming up in the next week and taking Ten classes means mucho tarea. I am keeping up pretty well, even though now and then something will surprise me and my friend, Ale, will say, "Oh, I'm Sorry. I thought you knew that." She really is helping me though. I've found other ways to keep myself occupied. I am in Choir--though everything we sing is learned by rote, so that is very frustrating and immensely tedious. Then there are the daily chores. Nothing too major, but like I mentioned earlier, Mexicans clean everything overly thoroughly (although that phrase makes no sense). Then there is the daily run to the library to try and keep up with emails (I apologize). Sometimes they won't let me in and sometimes the time limit is shorter than other times, I don't understand the system at all, but I'm learning. More people are getting more comfortable speaking with me in Spanish. And English, for that matter. I find that I'm learning constantly.

This is what really makes me nervous, so much homework. And it takes me ten times as long to do it because I have to translate everything into English, Process it in my Head and then Retranslate into Spanish. However, I really am progressing though. I've had several people mention that to me. I know it's not anything that I've done though. I simply know that God helps those who love Him and though my love is imperfect, it's penetrating. I know that I can and will grow closer to Him in this adventure if I simply put my trust in him.

I found a map of North America in my planner and marked the distance between Mexico City and Home, that certainly surprised me a bit. It even looked far on the World Map. But you know what, home really is where the heart is.

P.S. One other thing I have learned. The gift of tongues is not only the ability to speak and interpret, but it is to understand the hearts of God's people.

8:15 Aerobics

2009-01-26T12:51:00.000-08:00

This week we started a different schedule for classes. Someone had mentioned something about physical activity, but I thought that was maybe P.E. for the students who had that class as a requirement. After first period, Filosofía, I picked up my bag and waited for Ale so we could go to our next class. The teacher closed the door and everyone stood up. Honestly, I was a little frightened. I have been harrassed a bit since I've been here and who knows what they do to Americans. Maestra Ramos Ramirez turned on the television set and next thing I knew, I was watching a homemade Aerobics video. I started laughing so hard and then looked around and Ale had already started doing the exercises. So I followed her lead feeling like a fool. This lasted for 55 minutes. I felt so very refreshed after walking and jumping and stretching in my gray skirt and polo shirt.

**This is a photo my Grandma took of me in front of my house**

This is Me Being Really Happy

2009-01-24T17:18:00.000-08:00

And Slightly Overwhelmed.

I finally got to talk to my family. And I am on the internet without a time limit or anything being blocked (i.e. gmail chat or blog). And I had potatoes for dinner. And I ate an apple. A real, crisp apple. I also happen to love my grandparents.

And "It's Raining Men" just started playing. I have never been happier.

Iba a un Baile

2009-01-24T15:53:00.000-08:00

Last night we had our first dance. I was very excited, because I knew that at a dance I wouldn't have to understand much, I would just have to move.

One of the girls in my house, Blanca, taught me some of their traditional dances and I went along with it, thinking that I wouldn't use them much. Then I taught her some of our line dances, the one from EFY, Cotton-Eyed Joe (is that really what it's called???) and the Electric Slide. That was fun...

So Blanca and I arrived to the dance kind of early, thinking that it had started at 4:30. I guess we were wrong. I didn't care though, I walked right into the middle of the dancefloor and started breaking out my white girl dance moves. Blanca was very embarassed, but I figured we would just start the dance.

About 15 minutes later they asked someone to say a prayer and then the dance REALLY begun. They started playing less American music and more mariachi band type schtuff. I went along with it and one boy that actually spoke decent English taught me a little of the dance (Salsa?).

This music and dancing continued for the rest of the evening. I stood to the side most of the time, because boys realized that I could not dance. I danced with two more tolerant boys, but the others...walked away. Yes, walked away. Oyve.

Still. I had fun. I drank water from a rusty drinking fountain. Got scolded by my roomate for my dress not completely covering my knees. Broke my zipper. Was walked home by a boy named Eduardo who didn't realize I didn't speak Spanish. And ate a sandwich with too much pepper on it. Overall, it was a successful evening. However, I am certainly nervous for the next dance. I may have to do some training.

The Lesson of Hard Work

2009-01-24T09:58:00.000-08:00

When I first arrived, the Hermana (mother) of the home explained to me my chores. Nothing major, so it was fine.

Then the other night, Saymi (one of my roomates) came in and said to me in her slowest Spanish possible that we needed to clean the stove. "¿Ahorra?" I asked, (one of the phrases I have mastered). "Sí" So we were off.

I looked at the estufa and thought to myself, Well, this will be easy. The stove was so dirty that cleaning it wouldn't do anything so if we just rubbed it for a decent amount of time, we could be done. How very wrong I was.

We scrubbed that thing for at least half an hour. Honestly, I saw no difference, except for the fact that my fingernails were stained black for the next three days. Lessons learned:
1) Sometimes cleaning isn't for the sake of the beautifying or the improvement of the object being cleaned. Sometimes you just have to clean for the sake of cleaning. And even if you don't notice a difference, at least you got the job done.
2) Sweat washes away tears.

I Forgot One - #11

2009-01-21T16:05:00.000-08:00

11) If a boy or a girl sticks out their cheek towards you, kiss it. Or at least make a kissy noise and touch your face with their face.

[P.S. Everywhere I look there are novios y novias--I would not survive in this culture. I am too afraid of cooties]

Also--here is a stunning picture of me. I am not doing so well with this language.

Things I Have Learned from 24 Hours in La Ciudad de Mexico

2009-01-21T10:35:00.000-08:00

Things I Have Learned from 24 Hours in La Ciudad de Mexico:

[in Chronological Order]

1) Never bring more suitcases than you have hands (or in my case--my guitar. Getting from the luggage conveyor to the exit doors took me three times as long as it should have)

2) I am a terrible driver (The streets in Mexico City don't even have lines. How my Grandfather avoided an accident, I will never know)

3) When eating in Mexico, eat as the Mexicans do. Some things aren't intended to be eaten with a fork. There is such a thing as being overly polite.

4) Listen closely when Mexicans tell you their names. It may sound like it just blends into the rest of the palabras, but it is very separate.

5) If you pray in English in front of Mexicans, watch out for the squeal afterwards.

6) Always wear shoes. If you come to scripture study sin sus zapatos, you will be scolded.

7) Hot Dogs are NOT for Breakfast. (I personally don't agree with Hot Dog consumption at anytime, but if you eat one for breakfast, it will come back to bite you)

8) The Spirit speaks in Every Language.

9) Two Mexican Men trying to speak English are more difficult to understand than One speaking Spanish

10) When looking for someone who speak English look above the heads of the rest. The tallest is the most helpful.

People Watching

2009-01-20T07:53:00.001-08:00

I am sitting in the San Diego International Airport right now and was able to get free wireless internet connection. This may be my last chance at that for a while.

Hey. I'll miss you.

Tomorrow

2009-01-19T08:39:00.000-08:00

This is actually happening.

Yesterday I went to the Eighth Ward and got to talk to everyone about it there. Then last night we had a couple people over for a birthday/going away celebration. I am so grateful for all of the people who are supporting me in this. I know I am crazy. But I also know that this is right. And I am ready for the adventure. And all the ups and downs that it will bring.

I had to add Jakey to My Blog. I will miss this Beluga :)

White Girl Goes South

2009-01-17T09:37:00.001-08:00

My sisters found a sombrero. I swear--our conceptions of the Mexican culture are SO Americanized. From Taco Shop to High School Spanish classes, we can only guess. This is an opportunity for me to immerse myself in a culture that I have never fully experienced. I have always been drawn to Latinos and to their culture and now I get to take part in it. This is wonderful.

This is my brother Eric. He is going to the Concepción, Chile Mission in a few months. He is going to have an amazing cultural experience as well. Plus. He looks good.

I'm Flying AeroMéxico

2009-01-14T16:17:00.000-08:00

The flight is booked. My departure date is next Tuesday, December 20th. Just enough time to finish finals, get my grades up, attend a murder mystery party (hosted by Isabella "Karina" Banks), complete my personal progress, celebrate Eric's birthday, get a family picture taken, box up my room, visit the Eighth Ward, sing in Ward Choir in Sacrament meeting, lead a Youth Committee Meeting and maybe get packed.

Six days.
And then Five Months.

This is no longer just an exciting opportunity. This is real. The Great Adventures of Rachel Jean continue. But now, in a foreign language :)

Poppin My Collar

2009-01-11T21:03:00.000-08:00

The latest development in our story: Uniforms. No, not the horrid plaid things, but whatever you can find. So yesterday my mother and I spent several hours scouring stores for white polos and knee length solid skirts. The old woman section became the "jackpot." (--k.m.d. aka mom)

But, Hey! If I look this good next to a polo, then I'm bound to look good in one. ha. ha.

It does remind me of my water polo days though. Man, those polos looked good. And this one goes out to Julia Ward "Ever since I can remember I been poppin my collar" :) good ole gangster days

Abigail Yakkity Waffle Howe

2009-01-09T14:45:00.000-08:00

Rachel `jean
she has a bean
but also is going to hogwarts

--by the Yak herself
(she's the movie star with the glasses)

Peace, Love and Benemérito

2009-01-08T19:35:00.000-08:00

Yeah. So I'm going to México [pronounced Meh-Hee-Ko]. I'm White. And can't speak Spanish (very well). But Marly and I decided to take some Mexican shots to prepare for the voyage. So these beauties will mark the epic beginning of my Blog. Enjoy!

Claire wanted to contribute as well :)
and Lauren mijita

a little "ketchup" inspiration